Random Thoughts' Monday: It's A New Year!

Hello beautiful people!

Can you believe we've crossed into 2012 already? I still have a hard time with it - reminding myself to use 12 instead of 11 whenever I fill in the dates on official papers, such as bank slips. A new year tiding in is a time of change, innit?

Speaking of change, I cannot believe how much has happened to me in 2011. It's been a fast & furious year, totally fantabulous and with more highs than lows. I was sitting at my desk this morning and taking stock of the past year, and some of the things that have happened, well, I still can't wrap my head around them.

For instance, I am now a published author. Yes, I've had books out in the past, under my pen names. But it's not the same as looking at a book and seeing your real name on there; like having people saying they've read your books and recommending it to others; getting fan mail (totally giddy factor here!), people putting two & two together between the book and little ol' you ...

...and the sheer amount of amazing people I have met throughout the year! The clan at Noble Romance, and then the striking posse of Six Sentence Sunday! You guys totally, and I mean, totally, rock!

Good friends have become even better friends (my soul sisters Natalie G. Owens & Rae Lori showed me even more that I don't need to bemoan the fact that I don't have a biological sister - sisterhood happens across blood lines and geographical borders!);
some people I've met, I've felt like I've known them all my life after barely a few words/lines exchanged (Jessica E. Subject - I'm looking at you specifically here! Then there'd be Noble's JS Wayne, Ingrid Michaels, Lucy Felthouse & Elizabeth Morgan; Sue from Sassyspeaks, Layna Pimentel, Cate Peace on Twitter, among so many others, and I apologize for not citing your names here. You know who you are though, & I love ya all!).

So much has happened... and it all started on that day in December 2010 when I was dashing out to go to the beach and the bungalow my brother-in-law had rented for the holidays... and email-addict me just had to check her inbox before she went out. That's when I saw the request from an editor at Noble Romance Publishing, asking if the full of Walking The Edge was still available for their consideration.
Fast forward a few weeks in February, and *Gasp!*, they wanted the story! Acquisition, contract, meeting the fab folks at Noble (Owner & CEO Jill Noble, submissions editor Becky Dampier, my very own editor, the fantabulous Mary Harris who has become a dear friend on top of the one who pushes me to be better, brighter, & stronger, the awesome Fiona Jayde who does the most fantastic covers ever!).

Hint of a cloud health-wise though - and the scare that I would need more surgery to keep any possibility of cancer at bay again. Pulled from the irreversible point by my team of fabulous doctors (Dr. Mrs. Thacoor, a gifted ob/gyn who actually listens to her patients, & Dr. Mrs. Poorun, a fabulous, kind, & compassionate oncologist with whom there's never any b*llsh*t!) who have never let me down. They both did everything they could to find out how to make my life easier, and erase the spectre of cancer that hangs like Damocles' sword over my head. That's how, after consultation with specialists in South Africa and in Switzerland, they got me on a hormone-therapy regimen that's to stave off the prospect of recurrence.
Now the side effects are a total b*tch (menopause at 28? Seriously???), but hey, I'm alive, and I get to see a new dawn every morning; to see my kid grow up; to spend time with the wonderful man who decided, despite my basket-case neuroses, to make me his wife and stand by my side through thick, thin, and hormonal madness; to live one more moment and do what I want to do...
I started 2011 after another brush with breast cancer, and through daily trips to the hospital for radiation therapy treatments, a time during which I had an hour to kill every day in the waiting room, and my trusted qwerty phone came to the rescue... Add to it fatigue and the need to race through life at 150mph while your body can only go to 50 mph - well, that made for an interesting time :)

Then in the maelstrom of hot flashes, drenched-type night sweats punctuated by terrible bouts of insomnia, I was working on edits for Walking The Edge, which *gasp again*, morphed into a 3-book series. So much I learned through that edit, through this process of getting my book out by fantabulous professional people who were behind me 200%! Had to stop fiddling with certain writing projects and wrap myself around the concept of writing to a deadline, to finish specific WIPs before I jumped into new ones. All through that, the to-be-written list got bigger and bulkier as I wrote down all the ideas I could pursue but just not right now!

Did I add that I had my last university exam during that period? Menopause doesn't only make you got postal, it also scrambles your brain and plays with your memory. Now I understood why people say that it's better to learn when you're still young - age (whether real or brought on by, say, your medication regimen) really does play a part in how mentally fit you are to undertake certain tasks, like studying.

And then June was here - Walking The Edge (Corpus Brides: Book One) came out, and I haven't had a minute to look back. Amid subtle reminders that I better bust my a*se to get Book 2 written and sent ASAP, another world of possibility opened when I asked my editor if I could submit another story to Noble.

Remember the 1-hour to kill in the waiting room back in January, and the trusted qwerty phone? So it turns out that I did what I do best during that time - I wrote...

And the result was a 50K sweet romance story between a cold & uptight forensic pathologist whose world takes a spin when she lands custody of an 11-year-old girl, and who meets the handsome & sexy village doctor next-door... Yes, that was Calling Home (A Destiny's Child Book)! This one was snagged again by Noble, and came out in December!

1 year, 2 book contracts & 2 releases, and a 110K story completed (and currently on the editor's desk *gnawing cuticles here*). Not bad for someone who'd started the year with the goal to simply 'be out there' as she worked towards publication...

There have been some lows too, like the death of one of my uncles after his courageous battle with cancer. I didn't use to be close to him, but battling the same disease brought us together in a way someone who's never had cancer will not really understand... It was a blow to lose him, especially when he seemed to be doing so well with his treatments.

So all in all, it's been an eventful 2011 for me, and generally, a good year...

I plan to make 2012 even better - what about you? Starting with, giving back. I'm not rich, I haven't got awesome amazing fantablous resources, but what I can give back, I will.

In this light, I'm opening my blog to authors who want to come promote their books or themselves. I've already met with a wonderful response (check the box at the top left of this page - that's where you'll see who'll be visiting me throughout the month!).

The blog will be open on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, & Saturdays. Still have some slots open in January, so if you're interested, don't hesitate to get in touch. I want to help my fellow authors as many have been a tremendous help to me, so please help me out here :)

Here's to a magnificent 2012, peeps! I wish you all the best, nicest, brightest, and most beautiful for each and every day of this new year.

From Mauritius with love,

Z

Random Thoughts' Monday: I'm in two different places today!

Hey beautiful people!

I've been MIA - I know... and I apologize. The reason - well, it's December, and though I don't exactly celebrate the holidays traditionally, well, it's also a month when my son and stepson are on holiday break. Usually, in December, they'll both have gotten their end of year exam results, and hubby will have earned his yearly bonus at work, which sees us going out a lot as a family and well, doing things as a family, esp to reward the boys for a year of studying well (hopefully! These exam report cards can be a total scary deal!). I always promise my son to work less in December, so I can spend the time with them, and this is what I've been doing.

I'm sorry I have to cut down on the blog for that to happen, but I know you people understand. I'm not just a writer - I'm a mum as well, and the years my kids are growing up, I won't get those again once they're gone. If there's one thing life has taught me, it's to enjoy the moment and leave the future for later, for when it'll come.

But, that being said, I am still here, though less prominently! Been working on some changes and updates for 2012 on the blog here - should be able to share with you all shortly! Got big things lined up for next year - I hope you'll stick around and check them out. :)

And, going back to today's post title - well, I'm actually in 2 places at the same time today! 3 if you count this blog. :) How? The magic of the Internet! I didn't realise that I was scheduled for 2 guest slots on the same day, but anyhow, the more the merrier, innit?

So, first off, I'm at author Sandra Bunino's All Things Girl blog today, writing a guest post about... the recipe for the perfect hero! Sandra's been hooked on the Gentlemen's Etiquette Link Thursday posts I've had up in November, and she asked me over. Come check it out:

"....  Welcome to All Things Girl!
This week I’m joined by the beautiful Zee Monodee! Zee brings us a delicious recipe that you are sure to love. Get this – it’s calorie FREE! How awesome is that?!?

Hello everyone!
First of all, let me say thanks to Sandra for inviting me over to All Things Girl (with a title like that, how could I ever refuse???)
So, Sandra and I started hitting Tweets back and forth about today’s topic ..." Continue reading

Then, I'm also in my every-other-month established slot at The Pop Culture Divas blog! Come see how we celebrate the holiday season in my household, in Mauritius! The post starts as such:

"... Hey beautiful people!
I'll admit that when the topic came out for this month's posts, I was stumped - how on earth do you happen to have holiday traditions, of Christmas and all things white and snuggly... when it's 95 degrees outside and the sun is blazing, and in December, you're usually lazing like a lizard soaking up the sun on the grainy white sand of tropical beaches? Yes, can you say 'idiosyncracy'? I could! ..." Continue reading

Drop by, and leave me a little comment! I'm eager to find out what 'ingredient' you include in the recipe for your perfect hero, and I also wanna know how much I've 'shocked' you with my unconventional holiday celebrations!

Hope you all have a lovely weekend, peeps! XOXO

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Random Thoughts' Monday: It's okay to let go...

Hey peeps

New week, new start. My son went back to school today, and I, for one, am jumping with joy! After what seems like ages, I managed to sit down and write uninterrupted for 3 hours. Saw a scene I totally hadn't planned come together, and my heroine hijacked her characterization. I'm gonna have to adapt to the new direction she took this morning.

But back to this post's topic - Letting go. I am a completely anal compulsive perfectionist. Everything I do has to be, well, perfect... Lol, I am definitely not perfect, so maybe I compensate for that in all I endeavour to do.

We all know here that I am also not a domestic goddess. My one attempt to make bread resulted in a 'rock' that could break concrete. But thank goodness, other things I cook turn out okay. Mind though - I really don't like to cook, or eat, for that matter. I have a strange love-hate relationship with food, probably thanks to my past as an overweight gal.

In waltzes my 8-year-old son. He's a foodie if I ever saw one - loves to eat and loves to prepare food. He watches all those cooking TV shows - Nigella Lawson, Jamie Oliver, Sanjeev Kapoor, Chak Le India and Highway on my Plate. He even knows cooking techniques that I've never heard of!

But for God's sake, he's 8! I don't want a kid let loose in my kitchen, where there are bubbling pans, burning stoves, and very sharp knives. So what do I do when he approaches the very safe zone of the kitchen island when I'm preparing food?

This is what happened on Saturday, when I was making spring rolls for dinner. Filling was cooked and cooled, all the instruments I needed were laid out, and the only thing left to do was actually roll up the rolls. It looks like a tricky technique but is in fact quite easy... Guess you know where this is going - a little boy asked me if he could help...

My first instinct was to say No. But then I caught myself - he'd been home for 3 weeks and though we did do stuff together, we didn't do as much stuff as I believed a 'perfect' mum did.

We spent the following hour rolling spring rolls side by side. I showed him how, and his little hands were surprisingly deft and quick. Though there have been some mishaps along the way, in the end, you couldn't figure out which ones I'd rolled and which ones he'd done.

And that's when I realized that it's okay - important even - to let go sometimes. In an unexpected moment, my son and I bonded like we never have before, and I'm sure the first time we rolled spring rolls together will remain a treasured memory we'll carry for as long as we live. It was all about the moment, and in the end, it's the little moments that count; it's the little moments that assemble to create tapestries of memories and happiness.

I should learn to let go more, to trust that everything is not dependent on me to turn out all right. This is what my son taught me this weekend, and what I wanted to share with you all.

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Random Thoughts' Monday: Trying to grasp...

...my life at the moment. It feels as if everything has spun from its axis since last week, and even today I still haven't stopped spinning like a supersonic top.

And my insomnia is back, so that could also be why I'm having trouble to settle, and why I prolly won't make much sense right now. :)

It's been a week today since all the hoopla for the book's release started. I've been a basket case of nerves, and I guess being a basket case of nerves is, well, bad for your nerves. I'm strangely euphoric and wiped out at the same time.

A part of me knows I need to move ahead, look forward to the future now, to delve into things in which I have a hand right now. Easy to say - harder to do and ascertain. Don't you sometimes have a feeling everything is running away from your grasp and you're powerless to grip them back and sort some sense into everything? That's a little bit what having a book out will do to you. suddenly you're a pubbed author - you have a book out! But the world also needs to learn that said book is out, so you set out on an out-and-out promo roll... which leaves you steamrolled and wondering how on earth you'll get your life back to how it was before the book came out.

So now I need to re-learn how to be a 'normal' writer - the one who goes about her mundane routine everyday and actually work on something upcoming.

Doable? Surely... but right now I'm kinda clueless... I know, I'm a case, innit? :)

Oh, something else - Walking The Edge is #6 on the Top 10 Bestseller list at Noble Romance! Yeah, I'll admit, that made my week.

Looking forward to finding a way how not to crash and burn from the perpetual high.

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Random Thoughts' Monday: When it rains, it pours!

Hello beautiful people

Hope you started your week well. No such luck on my end. Still carrying forward the remnants of last week's cold, and combined with my particular health state, let's just say I don't bounce back as easily as I should. Let's not kid ourselves - I'm doing no bouncing at the moment. Sigh.

And as always - everything needs to happen this week. I've got my writing challenge and deadline to meet, but let's just say trying to think up 3 words in a coherent fiction sentence right now is tedious, courtesy of the massive headache happy-banging against the inside of my skull.

But this I can deal with. It's the other deadline that's got my knickers in a twist - the work one. Yes, I work. I have a job too, even if I work from home. I get commissioned for writing articles and reports, and it's one way I've found of using my love for words to earn some money. Coz that's the 'problem', innit? Money, money, money, as ABBA sang. Unfortunately for me, I'm not a rich (wo)man so it's not funny in my world. Not to say that we are forced to scrimp and salvage here but we're not happy-rolling in the moolah either. Who manages to exist on a single income nowadays? (Unless of course you're a CEO or some other big-shot executive). So I try to contribute to my household budget, but the disadvantage of freelance work is that you're set with really tight deadlines and there's really no room for you to get sick or feel lousy.

Okay, enough of the ranting. Thanks for letting me take a load off, peeps. I know I can - and will - make it, but no one said it was gonna be easy. Sigh... Wish me luck and energy, pleeeeaaase!

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Random Thoughts' Monday: What's cooking...?

Hey beautiful people

Start of another week... Sigh... You know I'm gonna ask where the past weekend went, innit? With both boys home, instead of leaving them to their own devices with the Playstation (and where they'll bash one another senseless in Tekken or Street Fighter or Mortal Kombat or what else other I'll-kill-you-while-you-kill-me-twice type of video game), so we hit the beach yesterday morning, probably our last stint to the coasts now that winter is coming in.

As for today... just put a dish of lamb tagine to slow-cook in the oven. It's a Moroccan dish - served with couscous - that features in my upcoming release, Walking The Edge. Reading all about it again through the edits last week made me crave the food once again and I set out to make it today. Well, yesterday, to be more precise - for you see, you have to cut and marinate the lamb with specific tagine spices overnight, before you'll combine the rest of the ingredients together after you've browned the marinated meat and place the dish in the oven to slow-cook over 2 hours (or a little more).

Making this dish, I couldn't help but realize how much the systematic and well-organized setup to prepare a tagine is also akin to balancing life and your many duties when you're an author. You cannot simply pull up and decide to do something - it all requires planning, like your tagine meat needs to be marinated overnight. You cannot just do something the way you and you alone want to - there are rules, a certain framework and order to follow, exactly like your recipe, its list of ingredients, and what to add first and how.
All in all, this dish has taken me 1 hour to put together and get it into the oven. Yet, looking at the instructions and the list of ingredients a mile long for tagine, you'd think you need to spend half a day in your kitchen to pull this together.

Life is like this too. You think it'll take a long, long time to get everything ironed out, but until you try, you won't know.

On Friday, I mentioned that I'm collaborating with my bestie Angela Guillaume on a story. We've given each other a deadline set in stone for that one - we have a plan, and we're doing it all ourselves. I now have until July 31 to pen down a 50K story. It sounds doable, or terribly daunting. I'm like, 6K a week? Isn't that madness? You gotta reckon that in the past, I wrote in one single block of time, uninterrupted. I could clock 3-4K words in one morning. But then I wrote only once a week - with my hectic schedule and to-do lists, I couldn't find a free block of time to write every so often. That's why I stalled with my WIPs too.

But I cannot do this now, not for this project! 6K a week, every week. How on earth...? And this got me thinking of the tagine recipe - where a little here and a little there break down the mile-long recipe page into something that's doable in steps, where one builds upon the other, and before you know it, you end up with a consistent whole.

That's what I'm aiming for in my writing now. A little everyday. I clocked down 1.1K this morning, and still found time to do my other tasks. Win-win on all fronts. This'll be my goal every working day now - 1K and slightly more everyday, to add up gradually to 50K come July 31.

My update for now, folks! What are you all up to this week?

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Tidbit Tuesday: On My Music Playlist...

Hey peeps!

Going back to the lighter side of life here, now that the doom and gloom of the exams are over. Waiting for my editor to send the first batch of edits on Walking The Edge, and in the meantime, trying hard to adjust back to a 'normal' life. Meaning by that, doing the things normal people do, like read, watch TV, and listen to music.

Speaking of music, thought I'd share with you some of the stuff on my playlist this week. Yes, I'm a Pop music junkie, and yes too, I'm that shallow. :)

Now that we got this confession out of the way, here's the songs on repeat atm on my music player.

Judas - Lady Gaga
I'm not a huge fan of Gaga. I mean, I like her music and songs, but the whole eccentric persona - not exactly my cup of tea. However, you gotta admit the woman has amazing video clips, and she knows how to choose her leading men! Anyone remember Alexander Skarsgard in the Paparazzi vid? Judas is of a same fare - I'm in love with Judas too. Not the character, but the bloke portraying him - actor Norman Reedus. Check him out - serious drool-worthy material. :)



Price Tag feat B.o.B - Jessie J
This one's my husband's fave tune atm - I actually downloaded it for him but ended up under the spell. Fellow Brit Pop singer Jessie J is one to watch out, imo. I haven't listened to her other songs, but if they're of the same fare as this one, I think she'll score a winner.
The lyrics are also something in this - I mean really, what's it with the price tag to everything and anything in the world today?



F**king Perfect - Pink
I like this song mostly for the vid, because it tells this amazing, totally sweet and poignant story of this girl who hit rock bottom in her teens yet managed to rise up again and find herself. The message is to her daughter, and the lyrics - a message any mother would want to tell her child, boy or girl. Warning - some of the images in this vid may shock!



So, what are you people listening to? Any song I should be having on my playlist here too?

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Random Thoughts' Monday: Catching Up...

Hey peeps

Do you know this feeling when everything is catching up with you? Rolling, snowballing, a huge swallowing of dread gathering just behind your back and waiting to engulf you the minute you let your guard down? That's where I am right now.

D-3 to the exam, and if you ask me to sit for that paper today, I can assure you I will fail. I have no idea still what I am studying. Yes, the study guide and textbook material make sense, in a weird twisted way, but do I recall what I'm reading? Nopes.

Now in case you're wondering - No, I'm not panicking. Not yet. I've been through worse exam prep (a paper to write on a Tuesday which I actually started studying for - read that as in crack the book open for the first time! - on the previous Thursday. Don't ask why - it's always something and the other happening with me!). So, yes, not panicking. Yet. Let's just hope I am good with having faith in myself this time around too. But in another way, I'm jittery, because this is the last paper. Last ever! I mean, I've tortured myself with this degree for 8 years - think I'll go for more tertiary studies? Haha, you got another think coming then! Yes, in that way, I've got a totally lazy, sloth-filled brain!

And too, it doesn't help that we're in May - which is usually nice, comfy weather. I remember that when I had given birth to my son 8 years ago in May, I spent the time at the clinic and at home wearing those light, flimsy cotton shifts. Unfortunately, not the case now. Weird weather pattern or something, but it's getting cold. Quilt and afghans needed in evenings and night-time, socks and a light wrap in the mornings when you wake up, jacket & jumper when you step out, especially before noon. It gets dark as early as 5.30 PM, and at 6 AM, it still looks like the thick of night.

So you end up trading this, your everyday Ipanema by Gisele Bundchen sandals:

for this, Aldo Swendsen boots (which I have in black, btw):

...literally from one day to the other!

And along the weekend, you walk by Aldo and fall like a rabid fan on this - the Aldo Kelli flat, which was on - magic word coming! - Sale!! (Did I mention I'm an Aldo slut?)

Hope you had a nice weekend, and that things are not catching up with you the way they are with me.

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Random Thoughts' Monday: When change is looming ahead...

I'm afraid to jinx myself but I just have to tell you all that this week has started well! After the nightmare weeks I've been having lately, just this one day going as planned was a balm to the ragged soul!

Sometimes I wonder about all the things I have on my plate. I'm a mum, a wife, a homemaker, a university student, a writer, a darn social butterfly who needs her social contact fix everyday. That 'looks' like too much, but strangely, I function this way and cannot think of operating differently. Today was the deadline for the first assignment of this semester. Guess I've told you all (over and over again!) that this is supposed to be my last semester at uni, with a final module left for me to tackle. In a way, it felt weird for me to whip out my phone and check the calendar, and not see big blocks of days marked in red as Assignment-whatever-number-for-whatever-module. I have just 2 dates listed this time around, and even more weird is the idea that after May (hopefully! Let's pray I do pass the exam!) there won't be any more blocks of dates for Assignment-whatever-number-for-whatever-module. For the past 8.5 years - give or take a 1.5 year break in there when I hit some health snags - I've functioned and powered on as a university student mainly. Everything in my life got organised in and around exam and around Assignment-whatever-number-for-whatever-module dates. How will I get used to this facet of life changing drastically?

In a way, I know it's a positive change. Like, for example, at the start of 2011, for the first time in 9-10 years, since I stepped on my own two feet independently of my father's wallet reach, I was able to think of something else but 'this money is going towards this set of fees and that set of textbooks'. That felt totally strange. It was like I was giving myself permission to do as I wished with my money but this felt so odd I had to second-guess myself time and again.

Sometimes, you're wired one way, and then when change happens, whether inevitable in the course of things, or unexpected, you have to change your very outlook. And that can be scary, you know... Take away the familiar and you're left with a void. Like me with my clear schedule of blocked days for Assignment-whatever-number-for-whatever-module post April 2011. What will I fit my time with...?

One thing's for sure - definitely not more studies! I just recently realised (yeah, call me daft!) that I've been studying for every single year ever since I stepped into a kindergarten at 4. That would make 24 years of continuous study. I value education most definitely, but hey, that's enough of studying! I need to start living too.

The problem? What exactly is living...?

You tell me...

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Random Thoughts' Monday: Going, going, gone...

I'm celebrating some personal progress today! Now, sorry if I keep this short - we're in the midst of a massive thunderstorm and I should be turning down the Internet set-top box asap.

So yes, celebrating! Last year, in and around November and after, due to my health and a hospital stay, I sat on my butt and did nothing except eat and drink. Needless to tell you, I got fat. Not fat fat, know what I mean, but I wasn't my optimum lean physique either. Plus I had a spare tyre on the middle.

That's what got me into gear. We all know Indian girls have a natural, even genetic, propensity for having a bit of belly and love handles. That I can deal with (prefer it this way actually. I'd look like a coat-hanger without love handles). Not the spare tyre around my stomach.

I started to exercise - managed to keep a pretty steady routine, though most of the time it was hit and miss. Changed my eating habits and became a devotee of Chrononutrition - where you feed your body specific food at specific times of the day (it's not as restrictive as it sounds, really! I eat a huge breakfast and even take sweets/cake/dark chocolate at tea time!). Based on the Chrononutrition analysis (number of factors such as weight, measurements, height, diameter of wrist, eating habits, where the body seems to be storing more), it turned out I was eating too much carbs, esp at night.

I did just that one little change - less carbs, esp at night. In the whole picture of the Chrononutrition way of eating, in barely 2 months, I have... lost my spare tyre!

I now have a flat stomach!

Feels great to have achieved a goal... and I celebrated by having a doughnut. :) Oh well, I'm not on a diet, you know. *grins*

So that's my update for today! You guys celebrating anything?

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Progress Friday

Last Friday, I mentioned that my new journey would be starting soon. Well, guess I still don't know myself well enough (as opposed to my husband who seems to know my psyche much better than me, after, uh, 9 years together...). Guess what? The journey is starting soon... as soon as, 2 days ago!

I held up for a grand total of *drum roll!*... 4 days. So much for R&R. That's a good thing, you say? Yes, it is, except that a part of my brain is still wiped from that previous writing marathon and my hands still hurt. I'm a calcium supplement regimen every single day yet my fingers still cramp up on the keyboard. Now add to it a brain that just won't stop zinging my consciousness with story ideas, story tidbits, story insights -- Argghh! I'm going crazy here!

So here I am, just got off a writing wagon, jumping on another almost right away. I'm trying to keep myself in check though. I'd said I'd start to write again in March - I'm gonna try to make that. Well, the actual penning of words. Don't think I can keep still for that long, so in the coming week I'll be doing nit-picky, nitty-gritty research, rounding off the characters, outlining the events/episodes, planning the chapters as per the story arc - all that lovely work that enables me to simply sit down and write when then time comes for it.

I've been gobling up information between yesterday and today, hitting notes back and forth with the crit sisters who accompany me on every brainstorming sessions (hello ladies, you know who you are!! Imagine me doing a Kitty Galore 'heya' here! Lol). It's a wonder my brain isn't exploding.

But you know what? This feels good, this totally-overwhelmed-by-prospects mindset. :) I'll bask in it, thank you.

Weekend next up. The blokes here have already planned tomorrow to be table tennis day. I'm not joining in there coz sports and me makes three. :)

What have you got planned? Happy weekend anyhow!

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Tidbit Tuesday: Music Bites

Hey peeps

I'm in that in-between phase between stories, that time when you're on the lookout for a spark, for something, anything to hit home and make you go 'Aha!'. I usually turn to my music playlist in such moments - songs inspire me, spark off the little fire I need to set an idea aflame.

I thought I'd share 2 songs which are playing in repeat mode lately on my shuffle playlist.

The first is by Romanian singer Inna. Yeah, her music is nothing 'out of this world', it's pretty usual, generic, club-scene, dance music. But you know what? Just like junk food is great for the soul, junk music is great for the mind too. :) Inna sparked off a little tidbit I'd been looking for regarding a story I started last year and allowed to fall off because I couldn't get a good grip on it. The heroine, like Inna, is a dance tune singer.
This is the video for Sun Is Up.



The other song playing on and on, with me learning the lyrics by heart, is Whataya Want From Me by Adam Lambert. I listen to this song and just know this is the hero's theme in a story I've got planned for later on in 2011. The words were totally him, a perfect response to the conflict the heroine sets forth.



What music are you listening to at the moment?

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Random Thoughts' Monday: The Stylish Blogger Award

Hey peeps!

Monday! I agree with Garfield - that day should be banned, wiped out, written off... and uh, Tuesday would be the new Monday then, innit?

So, gotta tell you I'm pumped up on cold meds, hency why I'm making even less sense than usual. Should keep this post short, right? O-kay...

Me and this little blue spot here have been awarded the Stylish Blogger Award by both Rebecca Royce and J Hali Steele - two awesome authors I proudly call my friends (so yes, they could've been biased... Oh well). Hop on to their places, check them out. I also have to tell you 7 things about me.

I keep wondering what I haven't already said on this blog. Let's try and see (and I'm sorry if it's TMI!):

1. I was a surprise baby. 15 years after my mum had my only brother and was told she couldn't have any more kids, bam! Here I was! She was 41, my dad was 48, my brother was 16. Made for a 'weird' family, I can tell ya!

2. My English has the accent of a posh British cow.

3. I'm impulsive. Here's an example - I walked into the UNISA (my distance education university) student fair without any idea what degree I'd do. The minute the nice lady asks me which branch I wanna go in, out of the blue I reply communications science. Have no idea where the certainty came from, and to this day I don't regret choosing that subject.

4. I hate fruit. Especially fresh. Even the smell of it makes me feel sick (hence why I steer clear of the produce section at the grocery store).You can maybe get me to eat canned peaches/fruit cocktail and dried apricots. I prefer getting my Vit C from a tablet, thank you.

5. I'm one of very few women for whom Johnny Depp does absolutely nothing.

6. I'm a very good seamstress. Even took Dress and Textiles for my O-levels.

7. I used to be overweight. Up until my teens, I was the chubby girl to whom nothing good happened. Yep, I even got bullied (won't judge people, but let's just say the girl who was the bully sorely needed to get a life...). Then in a twist of Fate, I lost close to 20 pounds over my O-Level exam season and ended my sixteenth year as a willowy thing (though I top off at 5"3).

There you are - TMI about me!

Off to award the Stylish Blogger Award to 10 people.

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Tidbit Tuesday: Dreams...

Today I have good news! Lol, nothing major, but it's a big day for me. My hospital treatments are over, got the green light from my doctor.

So I'm celebrating, basking in all the positives of life! I dreamed of this day but never banked on it happening, because you know, sometimes when you wish for something so much, you end up jinxing yourself. Not the case this time though. :)

A few weeks ago, one of my BFFs, Angela Guillaume, sent me a video of this song. I'd heard it before, who hasn't really, but in the maelstrom of my life then, these words resonated with me on another level.

Dreams that you dare to dream come true...

I tried to feature the official video, but it's embedding feature is disabled. The one I thought came closest, audio-wise, is this one.



Stop for a moment, listen... and think upon your own dreams...

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Random Thoughts' Monday: Zapping Twitter...

Inspired by a post on Jodi Hedlund's blog that I read a few days ago, I have been giving a lot of thought to where I am and how I can be in all places to the best of my capacities. After lots of deliberation, to-and-fro-ing, pondering, thinking... I agree with what she says:

That we can't be everywhere and do a good job about it.

This got me thinking about my Internet presence. I agree, I am not all over the place (and totally not as socially prolific as a lot of people I admire!) but even this is, as many writers can attest, a huge time-suck.

I started the year committing myself to writing at least 4 books. 3 of the 50K length variety, 1 of the longer variety (80K+). And these are not gonna get written if all I'm doing is hopping all over the place. As my health takes another look-over and forces me to be expressly where I want to be, I have to prioritise...

...and decide where I want to be. Namely, Facebook and this blog. Sadly, I'll have to let Twitter go.

I didn't come to this decision lightly, but things are pointing me in that direction, and I'll try to explain.

First of all, I'm not good at Twitter. It feels so much like talking to myself. Yes, there are @whoever replies, but that's another issue (scroll down).

Second, my location. Not many people in Mauritius are on Twitter (as opposed to Facebook), so the site doesn't get the same kind of bandwidth support here. Yeah, true - I'm not even sure if what I just said is possible (bandwidth-wise), but this does look to be the case.

Third, bandwidth/connection woes again. Every time I'm on Twitter, I time out. I'm either told I timed out, or I get that huge whale being lifted by little birds image (the one up here. Yeah, totally unnerving, innit?). Not conducive to tweeting, you'll agree.
Try to tweet - time out and you have to re-type the tweet... to maybe time out again.
Check your followers' page to see who is connecting with you... sorry, you timed out, try later.
Check your @replies - seems like you timed out, try again later.

Fourth - I'm a zero at navigating Twitter. Watching the sheer amount of Tweets that flow in gives me a headache. And how can you expect people to follow you when you're not following them? Tweet-pics, I know what they are, have no idea how to see them, use them, add them. I tried a few times to read the scroll, reply, check profiles. A few hours had gone by me...

Fifth - location again, and the time difference. A big feature of Twitter is the immediacy of the medium. I mean, look at the #AmericanIdol discussion that went on during this season's premiere. Sadly though, when most of the people I can interact with are Tweeting, I'm asleep. I'm 8-12 hours ahead of US time, so that makes my working day Americans' sleeping time. As a rule since the fiasco of my 2010 time/family/marriage management, evenings are pretty much off limits for 'work'. Yes, I do drop by my email and Facebook sometimes at 8 PM, but it's a cursory zip-through, which I can't do on Twitter.

Sixth - my phone balks at connecting to Twitter. Again, it seems that since Mauritians don't use Twitter, it doesn't get the kind of direct link I need to access it via my 3G service provider. The link, if accessed, takes ages to load, takes ages to let you log in, and (see a pattern here?) most probably it'll time me out.

Seventh - I hate being one of those who only self-promote on their Twitter feed. The only reason I can even do that is because I've linked NetworkedBlogs with my Twitter feed. If I try to go in and add my link, I'll (you guess it!) time out!

I really would love to be able to handle Twitter, but you gotta admit defeat when you're fighting a losing battle. I have to prioritise, I have to time-manage, I have to write, I have to have a life outside of the cyber world, I have to be a wife and a mother and basically a person who takes a minute a day to look after herself.

This means de-junking, de-cluttering, simplifying.

So from now on, peeps, I'll be here and on Facebook. Join me, won't you? :)

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Progress Friday

In a week where I've been sick and tired of going to the hospital, and sick and tired of dealing with the drastic cuts in running water, it's a miracle at all that I got any writing done.

Mauritius is experiencing one of its worst droughts ever. Reservoirs are nearly dry (and it's only now that it's in such critical states that the authorities decide to 'look into' options such as desalinating sea water and finding new water boreholes! But that's another tangent I can rant on about, so let's not go there.) So yeah, we have running water only from 4 AM to 10 AM everyday. After that, your problem, not the authorities'. Have a water tank installed, you might say. Got not one but two on the building, and most of the time, there's not enough water pressure to allow the tanks to fill up (authorities again. See a rant pattern?)

But once again, 4-10 AM everyday ain't really that bad... if you're at home to get everything done. Let's see - shower, laundry, dishes, cooking: all need running water. Fine... if you're home at that time! What happens to working women/households? What happens when like me, you're stuck in a hospital waiting room every morning? You get nothing done, and after a while, that becomes an awful bugger!

Speaking of hospitals, how can it be that people wake up one day and are perfectly civil and cordial to you, and the next they couldn't give more of a damn than to kick you all over the place without a hint of information? Happened this morning, when I had to a) 'supposedly' see a doctor who is not my physician, b) see a doctor when I have just 2 more days to go, c) wait for my doctor when today's not her day to come in (that kinda killed my patience, yeah!), and d) be made to feel that I was a total pest when I asked what was going on. Took me asking where my medical file was (oh wait, it's floating around the departments!) for the people in charge to figure there was absolutely no reason for me to see the doctor today when on top of everything, she wasn't even supposed to come in! I mean, 'sheesh'! No wonder people rant about the Mauritian services' sector. A day like today (and the Monday I had last week!) would turn anyone into a Tasmanian Devil.

All right - back to progress. In all this mind-numbing hoopla, I did manage to turn in another chapter and trod along with the WIP. Totally not close to my desired target, but at least I'm moving ahead, which isn't a bad thing.

Lifestyle-wise, nada. Yes, I'm tired, washed out, with my right side feeling like it's had a bad case of sunburn (which puts exercise out of the equation, coz I can't even stretch my arm). But I'm not making excuses. I'm just resolute that I'll get more done next week. More, better.

So on that thought, I hop on into the weekend. Hope you have a nice one!

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Random Thoughts' Monday: From Robot to, uh, Human...?

Hey beautiful people

How was your weekend? Mine was pretty good. I had some family over on Saturday for tea (and no, there weren't any scones and clotted cream coz my scones always end up like flat brick slabs!). There was however an apple pie (recipe I'll share tomorrow), 2 types of muffins - date & apricot and choc chip/vanilla, as well the usual assortment of Indian fried savoury snacks (Madras curry potato dumplings - that's for another Tuesday's recipe, btw - and vegetable pakoras served with 2 types of chutney. What we call chutney in Indian traditional is not the sweet stuff of America. It's basically a dip involving chillies and either coriander/mint and tomatoes). I think it went well, coz all the food was eaten. :) It was good to see the kids get together (my two and my brother in law's four). Noise and fun - that was my Saturday. I didn't even feel tired.

Speaking of tired, I'm made to recall my teenage days lately. My whole family gave me 'grief' for being able to sleep 15 hours straight when I was a teen. I haven't done that in 10 years, and certainly not after my son was born (that over-enthusiastic morning tweeter). Still, lately, I'm getting tired and the only remedy to somewhat help with the fatigue is sleep. Indulged this weekend and found out I was no longer bumping into the corners of all the furniture and plates weren't slipping from my hands as easily as last week. So, yeah - felt a tad like a teenager again. Was tempted to resurrect my Goth dressing tendencies and my Rob Zombie, Rage Against The Machine and Marilyn Manson tracks (the ones where my mum asked whether they were singing or puking their guts out), but... *shame* they're on tapes! My son didn't even know what a tape was! MP3 all the way now... Talk of a tech divide!

Ah, last week - a total fiasco where time management was concerned. I made a resolution this week - to take the day as it comes and not try to push and tug everything on my agenda on every single day. Took that slant today and I do feel lighter. I'd allowed my email to accumulate during the weekend and I just sat down today and whittled through my inbox. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't feel like a train wreck at the end of the day now and I hope I'll be able to keep this up. Days for writing = writing, days for other things = other things. Is it really that simple?

I also decided I want to have at least one laugh per day. Had a spectacular one this morning - if I'd been eating or drinking at the time, well, let's just say my laptop would not be in functioning order any longer. What was so hilarious? Check this link about what every guy needs in his bathroom. I was like, there's not even that much stuff for me in my bathroom, now a bloke needs all this? Frankly, if I'm ever single again and I meet a guy who's got all this in his bathroom cabinet, I'm running away as fast as my legs can take me! Have a laugh, I swear it's well worth it. :)

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Random Thoughts' Monday: What a wonderful world... Not!

*Hear my head going thunk on the table/surface in front of me*

Hey peeps

That line above has been pretty much my state of mind today. Oh, I knew today wasn't gonna be easy, but sometimes things conspire to make the world a really tedious place to be. Okay, yes, I'm gonna whine!

Kiddo started school today. Great! Brilliant even! First day at school means new class, and this time, new teacher. Had to wait until all the organizing was done, classes sorted out, kids channelled to said classes, parents cutting in front of me as if they owe the place to go talk to the teacher. Now, some people really have no manners, and they make you blow your top off. But that's not a good reason to be as rude as they ae and cut in front of them to just drop a word with the teacher, even if you're already gonna be late to your hospital stand-in appointment for treatment. So I wait - 1 hour at the school. Finally do manage to talk to the new teacher, and off we are to the hospital.

Get there in one piece and I'm Number 11 on the treatment roster. Number 3 has just gone in. An average of 5-10 minutes for each patient in there - do the maths, equals... More waiting! Yay (not!!).

10.30 am - finally done with the radiation therapy round. By now my butt is flat from sitting on that waiting room bench (at least I got to sit down. A really nice gentleman stood to give me the seat. At least gallantry's not dead yet.), and my back is as stiff as that bench's nonexistent back rail.

Head over to my next appointment, the surgery post-op review. Appointment at 11. Sit down on yet another stiff wood bench, and... tada!! Wait again!
Now I've learned my lesson at the government hospital - always ask if the doctor you've come to see is working that day or is he/she on leave (in which case you see his stand-in replacement, who literally kicks you to next month's new appointment like Beckham delivering a free kick into the goal post!). So I ask, and I'm told, yes, the doctor is in. Great. I resort to waiting.

Quarter past noon (and I had breakfast at 6 am, nothing since! Stomach screaming bl**dy famine by now), and it's my turn. Not to see the doctor, mind you - to go and sit in the to-see-the-doctor inside waiting room. Now would you believe this? An old woman sits next to me (we're placed literally in the order we have to go in, on another bench (!!) next to the door to the consultation room). On the other side is a man. Halfway through the wait, she leans over, taps the man on his shoulder, and tells him, "I'm after you, aren't I?" The man shrugs, but she's passed the message. I'm "intruding". I'm not one to kick up a fuss (and by then I was already bone tired), so I get up and move to her other side, so she can go in first. Now I dunno why something is not sitting well with me with me, and when the nursing officer doing the patient roster comes in again, I ask him where exactly I should be in the queue. He asks for my name, and frowns, before looking at the old woman...

Turns out, after all, that it was indeed my turn. The old witch jumped up when they called my name and I didn't show up right away because I was helping an old man get over the small step to go into the waiting room. Turns out... she made them believe she was Mrs. Monodee! I mean, the cheek of her! And the best is, turns out it's not the first time she's done this. The old man I'd helped would've gone in after me, and he leaned over and told me to not worry coz they knew what she was about. Talk of being flabbergasted! And she had the gall to intone that she was "sick and couldn't sit outside, she was getting dizzy sitting outside". Thank goodness the nurses dealt with her and made her wait for her turn, or else I swear I would've blown my top off this time and racked up hell!

Still, my plight is not over! My turn to see the doctor... and it's not him, but one of his resident minions, who, as swiftly as Beckham and Zidane in the penalty box, shoots me right through the net to... an appointment next month! Yes, the doctor is 'on leave'! Sheesh!

By the time I got home, all I wanted to do was to *thunk* my head on the desk, the wall, the counter, anything. Having the mother of all headaches right now.

To think this was supposed to be my first day of freedom, what with kiddo in school finally. Sigh... What a wonderful world...

Sorry for the rant. I had nothing else on my mind/brain right now.

From Mauritius with love *and another head thunk*

Zee

Random Thoughts' Monday: Out with the old, In with the new

Hello beautiful people!!

Happy 2011! Oh yum, the new year is finally here. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to this year. Why? Because it looks like it can be a new beginning...

I'm a firm believer in the thought that we can change our lives with every second that passes. But there's a great symbolism in attempting a twist and turn around the time a year changes. So I thought the passing into 2011 would be my time. The time to be me - the new 'me', that is.

What has she been up to, this new 'me'? Has she been able to achieve anything?

I usually start things all revved up and then go out of steam halfway. Tried to keep this at bay this time around and so far it seems to be working. Okay, you can tell me 'it's only 3 days into 2011, Zee' and shake your head like my son does, when he is trying to explain to his 'absolutely perky and girly-pink-loving brainless twit of a mother' something 'boy/manly and techie and just plain awesome that a girl can totally not understand' (forgive him, he's only 7.5 years old...). But no, I'm quite proud of myself, because this Zee is much more comfy in herself and doesn't hesitate to assert her needs and thoughts when necessary.

For example, I give myself a manicure when I want it, not when I can afford to find time for it.
I plan my stuff and make it happen - like I already have the school supplies' shopping done when all parents will hit the stores like mad this weekend to buy stuff at the last minute before school starts on Monday 10 (ah, bliss, here I come!!).
I am making my big boy laugh - doesn't matter how, whether 'accidentally on purpose' I play the ditz to his 'super brain', or I poke or tickle him at every opportunity. We're also talking more, even if hubby says that talk sounds like the prelude to WWIII at the diplomatic table... :)
I am more in tune with the man. Okay, I might concede that I am making good meals and even baking jaffa cakes for this absolute foodie. The end result though, what matters, is that even if I'm going through his stomach, I am conquering his heart all over again. Yes, peeps, my man is not a clone of George Clooney met Brad Pitt and Thomas Kretschmann along the way. He whines, he's got a horrible temper that makes me smash china on a regular basis in frustration, he moans as if on the brink of death the minute he starts to sniffle... but he is mine and I love him. What can I say? :) I'll do all I can to make him happy, because he makes me the happiest woman on Earth through the big, but mostly, the little, tiny things he does for me all the time.

Writing-wise, the new 'me' is doing better too. If she can afford to write, great. If she can't one day, no big deal. My motivation is there, and I'm getting the job done when I look over the goals at every weekend. 30 pages in 2 days, 30 pages in 6 days, 28 pages in 7 days - the job is getting done. Full stop. Quite proud of myself there!

Now, uh-oh, here comes the letdown... Exercise. I haven't done an ounce of exercise yet this year. I have big plans for this one though - Pilates for Abs workout using a ball (click here to see this one), treadmill walking, push-ups, stretches. All this on my agenda. I'm not giving up, will definitely aim to lose my jelly belly, up my fitness level, strengthen my upper body. Exercise will also help keep me healthy. Hopefully will have better results to show next week here.

Speaking of exercise and change, I am inspired a lot by this quest of an author I met and friended on FB, and whom I found out is an absolutely amazing lady. Author Beth Ciotta is starting a year-long non-fiction project, and her motivation and goals are all chronicled in this blog, The Year of Me, as she calls it. Pure inspiration - I urge you to drop by and encourage her on her journey. She is being a formidable booster and motivator for me this year.

So that's all for today (*finally*, I can hear you say, lol). What have you been up to in 2011, and how does this year look like for you?

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Random Thoughts' Monday: Saying goodbye to 2010...

So we're officially upon the last Monday of 2010. My God, where did this year fly, people??? I have no idea where mine went. I seem to recall opening my eyes and 2010 was starting. To admit the truth, I wasn't looking forward to much this year. I was pretty set in a routine and thought I'd reached where I was supposed to reach and was at the position I'd hold for pretty much the rest of my life.

How wrong I'd been...

January went pretty much without hitch. Kiddo started his second year in primary, going from the 'newbie' to the 'grown up one step ahead of the newbie'. :) I had a job, I was writing, hubby was ensconced in his job. Routine, blah, blah blah.

Appearances can be very deceptive though. In February, the cracks started to appear. Yes, I was working and I was writing like a madwoman (finishing a 100K+ novel in 17 days!). Needless to say, I saw next to nothing of the men in the house. Did I think I could get away with it? Yes, I did, because my priorities weren't set right - I wanted to be where I was and I didn't pause for one minute to ever consider the cost. Financially, I was working but not bringing any much home. Which kinda widened the chasm here - I mean, if you've got 'proof' of what you're doing to show, then it's pretty much a good idea to keep doing what you're doing. I didn't. What can I say? I'm a trustful person, I don't expect anyone to use this trust for any nefarious purpose. So yes, said cracks - hubby asks me one day if I thought that maybe he could be sick. He hadn't been feeling great lately, had lost weight, was irritable. But he was also on a huge, huge deadline at work, so what do I do? I brush him off, saying it's probably the stress. See the divide growing here?

By the time March comes around, I have no idea who I am and what the heck I'm doing. My marriage looks like it'll be crumbling any minute, because he and I meet over the dinner table, share a few words, and then I jump back on my laptop, going to bed by the time he's fast asleep. Mornings, don't mention. There's school, and that's all our mornings amount to. Celebrate my birthday, a ho-hum one - did I even recall it was my birthday back then? I don't remember.
My world crashes when my sweetly-angelic-and-devilish, then-6-year-old boy blows his top off and berates me for being an awful mother. "When will you pause to breathe and take a break?" he asks.
I look up and I don't recognise this little boy who, wait a sec, wears the same size T-shirt as I do??? When did that happen? His first trimester exams are also around the corner, and I realize I have no idea what he is even studying this year at school. Pair all that with a massive case of being over-written and sore-writer's-imagination, and the end of March sees one of the biggest episode of my life happen.

I quit. Literally. Quit my job, and was given hell for that. There are all sorts of versions flowing around as to why I was no longer there. The real reason is - I left. Full stop. It was a choice between who I could be and who I wanted to be. I chose the latter.

Suddenly, it was Easter break and I was at home with my boy. My parents were away on a trip abroad, so no 'dropping off to Mom's'. What did I find out? Kiddo's back then's fave movie was High School Musical. We had the sing-along version in the DVD, and this became our favourite activity. He sang as Troy, I did Gabriella. And Sharpey (eek!). I heard him laugh, the kind of children's specific bellow that has them throw their heads back and laugh with their whole body.
When was the last time I had heard that? I didn't remember...
Suddenly too, my marriage was doing much better. Hubby and I would take 20 minutes out every evening and just sit down together. Sometimes we talked, sometimes we didn't. Sometimes I pestered him to let me turn the caveman-him into a slightly more modern version of a caveman who would maybe exfoliate and use some hydrating cream on his face. That made for some hectic moments! :) But it also turns out that we found out my husband had been sick all along - it wasn't the stress. It was diabetes. I don't need to tell you how much of a worthless scumbag I felt when we got the news. I hadn't given anything to the one who mattered, giving my all to worthless pursuits in the meantime...

From there on, life settled down. I found the courage to pick up my 'digital pen' again and start to write. No pressure, no fuss, no worrying. Just the pure, unadulterated pleasure of telling a story the way I wanted to, going back to the thrill of the 'moment' like when I had just started writing 6 years ago now. Picked up my studies too, working towards completing my degree finally.

Along the way, there have been bumps, a most notorious one on this blog itself. But there's a silver lining to every cloud, and the lining I found wasn't silver at all - it was the best, purest platinum to have ever existed. I discovered who my friends were, and the outpouring of support and encouragement messages tumbled me into a wekk-long bout of throat-clogging so much I became emotional. I was totally overwhelmed - and to these fantastic people (you know who you all are!), I say THANK YOU for being in my life and for allowing me to say I know you and I'm proud to be your friend!

Buoyed by this feeling, I wrote some more, and then a 'click' moment happened in early November. My dream had always been to write for Harlequin - ever since the day I read my first romance at 12, I have loved HQ and M&B for the kind of wholesome stories they keep bringing to women the world over.

What's a dream, if you ain't gonna pursue it? We live only once, innit?

Today I know my priorities. I know who I am, what I'm made of. I know who and what matters. Whatever is meant to happen, will happen. But this also means I can take an active role and a forward step to make the lives of those who matter better. If not better, I can help make it not worse than it might already be.

I think my husband, son, and stepson are grateful that I came to realize this. I know I am. My family matters. My writing matters. I matter!

Today I look towards the future. I don't know if it is bright, overcast, rainy. I just know it's out there, on a path that's unfurling at my feet, and I need to keep moving. Whatever comes upon this path, God has made me strong enough to deal with it. Whatever happens, happens.

It's with this state of mind that I look towards 2011 and wait to embrace a positive continuation of my life. I just wish all the wonderful people I know can feel the same way too, and that all the best this world has to offer will grace their footsteps and bring at least a smile to their face everyday.

To all the amazing people I have met in my short life, and who have shown me time and again how much they care - my 2011 belongs to you.

And oh, yeah, I don't make resolutions normally, but I still plan of losing my spare-tyre-belly next year! :)

So on that note, let me pen off for 2010. I won't post again before next Monday, when I'll welcome the new year in this very spot.

From Mauritius with tons and tons of love,

Zee