Link Thursday: 27 Things Men Don't Know About Women

Hey beautiful people!

I have a fun one for you today. :) There's nothing I like more than enlightening the male brains in my house about what women want/think/believe... and I'm sure you must get a kick out of it too. *grin*

Now let's take it to another level - how about enlightening your reluctant and/or caveman hero about 'real' women? And need a peek into the female mind to better sketch that heroine of yours?

Look no further! Today's Link Thursday features an article originally from Esquire.com which is a bible of behaviour and etiquette at most, and a trove of treasure articles on men & women. So, Esquire.com actually got female celebrities to dish about what things about women they wish men knew.

Can you say lots of goodies packed in this article? I sure can!

I accessed the article here, on the MSN Lifestyle, Your Life, website. You can check the original slideshow with gorgeous pics of the celebrities dishing the advice. :)

Enjoy!

*****

27 Things Men Don't Know About Women

Female celebrities offer relationship secrets and dating advice for the opposite gender. Now maybe they'll learn something.

Jane Krakowski
"When you break up with us, that means it's over, and we will only sleep with you two or three more times."

Courteney Cox "We pay closer attention to your hands than you think. It's bad enough if you don't have manly hands, but if your nails are longer than ours, forget it."

Cheryl Hines
"Everything sounds better when your mouth is next to our ear and you whisper it. Everything from 'Sorry about the smell' to 'I'm going to love you forever, m'lady.'"

Poppy Montgomery
"When considering whether or not to ask out the girl you're afraid to talk to, keep this in mind: No matter who you are or what you look like, it's always flattering when you hit on us. Always."

Leslie Mann
"We can tell how good you'll be in bed by how good you are on the dance floor."

Alyssa Milano
"Women are innately self-conscious. This is not a choice; it's a gender-wide condition. On a bad day, I look in the mirror and see my ten-pound-heavier alter ego. Her name is Bertha. On a really bad day, Bertha sees her two-hundred-pound-heavier alter ego. Her name is Brian Dennehy."

Connie Britton
"We want dessert. We want you to order dessert. What we don't want is for you to ask us if we want dessert."

Carmen Electra
"When we ask which outfit we should wear, humor us with an answer — just pick one already! — but expect us to go with the one you didn't choose."

Sanaa Lathan
"Men who wear sunglasses at night don't look cool, rich, or sexy. They look as if they should be holding a cane or following a dog."

Christina Applegate
"Call us back right away. That 'three day' crap does not apply. We're getting older and we don't have time to screw around. Wait too long and we'll lose interest. Trust me on this one."

Tea Leoni
"Supersecret: Unless we're blind or have no night-light in the bathroom, the whole toilet-seat thing is exaggerated and meant to control you."

Julia Louis-Dreyfus
"Of course we know how to work the TiVo. We're not stupid."

Maria Bello
"We're afraid of commitment, too. You may think we spend our time scheming ways to trap you into marriage, but many of us are quite happy being independent and autonomous. Besides, we're not in any rush to quit lusting after young Calvin Klein models."

Jennifer Love Hewitt
"PMS is not a lame excuse to be able to yell at you. It's a great excuse."

Emily Deschanel
"Even if we've only been dating a few weeks, don't introduce us as your 'lady friend' — or that's exactly what we'll become."

Ashley Jensen "When we fall asleep before the end of the film, it's because we are happy and relaxed, not because we're bored of Live Free or Die Hard."

Padma Lakshmi
"Some of us prefer boxing to yoga. None of us actually likes Pilates."

Jenna Fischer
"If we run into your ex-girlfriend in public, the first thing you should do is put your arm around us. And if we have to introduce ourselves, you are in big trouble."

Kerry Washington
"How sexy you look unbathed at a campsite first thing in the morning is as important as how sexy you look in a tux."

Maria Bartiromo
"Otis Redding said it perfectly: Try a little tenderness."

Melora Hardin
"We'd much rather try on bras than see them on surgically altered, airbrushed supermodels, but we know how much you enjoy the Victoria's Secret catalog. Consider it a gift."

Andrea Savage
"We hate baby showers as much as you assume a sane person would."

Julie Delpy
"We need you to be reachable at all times, but we don't always pick up our phones when you call. We realize this seems like a double standard; if you'd like to discuss it further, just leave a message."

Samantha Mathis
"Asking for directions is a really big turn-on."

Saira Mohan
"Pick the weirdest part of our body and compliment it. The left elbow, the forehead, shins. Just be creative."

Kyra Sedgwick
"Our friends are not your enemies, and our enemies better not be your friends."

Sela Ward
"Sometimes we think we really understand men. Then we regain consciousness."

*****

My personal favourite is Sela Ward's! Which one's yours? :)

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Link Thursday: The 15 Defining Moments in a Relationship

Hey beautiful people!

Link Thursday and its (somewhat relevant to you!) article is back. I dunno about you, but Thursday is one of my favourite days, because I get to share with you all some of what my trips around cyberspace look like. And I get to share with you information that I think might be helpful to you as a writer (come on, we all know we get ideas, yes, but then we gotta research and back these ideas, don't we?); or as a woman out there in the world, whether you're single, married, in a relationship, a mother, a friend... in short, a heroine in your own right. :)

So today's link is something that has intrigued me ever since I saw the post, and I thought it was highly relevant both to our own lives, and to those of the characters we pen in our romance novels.

Are there defining moments in a relationship? You know, when things suddenly look 'serious' and going toward a more definite direction...

Here's a list of 15 defining moments in every relationship. You might not have had all of them yet; you might not experience each and every one; you might have your own version of what makes a defining moment in your relationship.

I grabbed this from MSN Lifestyle, Your Life segment, a few days ago. You can access the link and check out the slideshow in its original form. The article is by Amy Spencer.

*****

The 15 Defining Moments In A Relationship

By Amy Spencer

Your first kiss isn’t the only milestone you can enjoy. Take and step back to examine just where you are on the road of your relationship and take pleasure in all your firsts-- from fighting to murmuring those three little words.
First times come in many forms. But which of these great moments should you relish and remember and which ones are just you being mushy? In relationship world, we say they all count. Here’s our top 15.

1. First Talk

Your first talk till dawn
Astronomers say it takes just over eight minutes for light from the sun to reach the earth. And that's about how long it feels you've been talking, though it's been over eight hours. "My God, look at the time!" you both say, cursing the violet sky. But it's a good sign if all you want to do is talk for a few million more trips into space and back.

2. First Kiss

The first kiss
We know: Duh. But how could we not mention that Big Red moment? It's like no other feeling in the world.

3. Girlfriend?

When he introduces you as "my girlfriend"
It's so utterly high school that the title still straightens your spine. But how can it not? You're now officially pinned, picked, branded, wanted.

4. First Morning

The first morning after
Some guys you wouldn't share a beet salad with, let alone a whole night. "You want coffee?" he asks the next morning, tossing the duvet your way as he pads to the kitchen. Please, he's saying by the ease of his actions, stay.

5. I Love You?

Finding the nerve to say "I love you"
Jessica Simpson seems content to do so through national magazines. For the rest of us, though, the moment is fraught with anxiety: What if he stares at us blankly? What if we're saying it too soon, and…Sorry, what was that? You do? Oh, thank God.

6. First We

The first time you write "we" in an e-mail to your friends
And they don't write back, "We? Who the hell is we?"

7. First Fight

The first time you fight and make up
Let's be honest: If you never fight, someone's not speaking up. Consider it like an oil change: a healthy way to clean out gunk so you can get back to the joy ride.

8. First Trip

That first trip together
What better way to gauge how you'll fare on your journey through life than to see how you survive hours of snaking security lines? It's also when you establish who'll get the window seat for the duration of your relationship--so act fast, woman.

9. First Grocery Shop

The first time you grocery shop together
You know how his lips taste after a workout and a cold beer. You know to give him five minutes alone when he shakes his head in a "work sucked" kind of way. But to watch this man slip a family-size Fruit Loops into the basket with a dopey grin on his face--that's when you realize you still have worlds to learn about each other.

10. First Control

The first time he lets you control his car/remote/iPod
Seriously, you don’t know how hard it is for him to hand over something he worships so much. Not as much as he worships you, of course, but close. Scary close

11. The Future?

The moment you see a future with him
Some women could imagine having a future with the guys in a J. Crew catalog. But with the man you love, the future you see is sure-footed and sane: A foot rub after a long day. A laundry basket and a loving squeeze (though if he's folding, you really are dreaming).

12. First Notice

When you notice you are no longer primping for him
Whoops! You're sitting on the couch in your time-of-the-month undies. Yet he's looking at you more lovingly than when you're all gussied up. Clearly, my dear, this is the real deal.

13. First Doctor Visit

Going to the doctor together for the first time
Need reason number 652 to stay fit? Have a long sit in a waiting room for someone you love. You'll vow never to have to be there for something worse, because now you need to be healthy for each other.

14. Caring Together

When you care for something together
It doesn't really matter if it's a tomato garden or Rufus the drooling French bulldog. But when you're both responsible for taking care of another living thing, your pairing becomes much more important. Be proud as you watch it grow.

15. Your Commitment

When you commit--we're talking long-term commit--to each other
On the one hand, it feels a bit like picking partners in the schoolyard. ("You want me on your team? Really? Me too!") On the other, it's a watershed moment, when you find yourself so profoundly lucky that someone you adore so much feels exactly the same way about you.

*****

I add my own Defining Moment here - Silence. The first time there's utter silence between you, & you don't feel the need to rush and fill it with words.
When you're alone for the first time (not on a date, say at your place or his), and what should've been an awkward moment is suddenly the most natural thing in the world, when the quiet is just another way you two are communicating. :)

What constitutes a defining relationship moment for you? Drop me a comment and let me know.

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Link Thursday: Romantic Dinner Date Etiquette for Gentlemen

Hey peeps!

Remember last week I started a series of posts about Gentlemen's Etiquette? You do want your hero to be a gentleman, innit? He can be a biker bad boy to a CEO and everything in between, but one thing a hero always is - Noble! And he has manners. :)

So we learned what a man was supposed to do - and not do - when fine dining. Some of it was weird (A gentleman doesn't draw on the table... uh, unless he's 6...?); some was spot-on and a dead giveaway that your hero is, well, "unrefined" (A gentleman never snaps his fingers to attract the waiter's attention); and some was in the good-to-know category (A gentleman never talks about golf at a table where ladies are present... ???)

When you know that two-thirds of first dates happen over a dinner table, these pointers do come in handy (plus, don't forget you can use said pointers to make your antagonist/loser/douchebag male character a better, well, uhm, douchebag...?)

...and when you've acertained that a date is almost always dinner... especially that special date of February 14, aka, Valentine's Day...

What's your hero to do, so he'll behave and come across a gentleman?

Read on to find out!

The article is from Esquire.com, and is written by John Mariani. You can find the link with the original slideshow here

*****

How to Take a Woman to Dinner the Right Way

With expert restaurant do's and don'ts, etiquette tips, and more romantic advice, make this 21-step guide your food bible for Valentine's Day. Or else.

By John Mariani


1. Ask her out at least five days in advance.

But since you've got just a few days until Valentine's Day, you're already in the hole. Assuming you've got a date, tell her the reservation is 15 minutes earlier than it actually is. This way you'll be seated on time.

 

2. French restaurants may seem romantic…

Often they upstage you with a meal that revolves around an exotic menu and wine list instead of you having a good time. And then there's the snooty factor, where you're judged as much by the service staff as your date. Especially when it comes to the tip.

 

3. On Chinese and Asian restaurants:

They are either pushy, crowded, and frantic or completely empty, ensuring you'll be the only ones in the whole place. In either case, you'll be out the door in a hurry. Think about it: When was the last time you spent more than an hour in a Chinese restaurant?

 

4. Mexican restaurants can be amiable.

They have lively atmosphere and acceptable cuisine... but they mark you as a cheapskate. The music usually sucks, but after a few fast-acting margaritas, neither you nor your date will be complaining.

 

5. Steakhouses tend to be meat markets.

Literally. Who wants to compete with the crowds of guys at the bar who can't wait for you to go to the men's room so they can hit on your girl?

 

6. Sushi is very good for a casual date.

Assuming she likes it, it is a little sexy because it's adventurous and marks you as something of a sophisticate. (This is especially true if you if you live in a landlocked city like Cincinnati or Tucson.) Just don't sit at the counter.

 

7. Italian restaurants are your best bet.

The staff is affable, they know how to greet a beautiful girl, the food is going to be good even if it's only okay, and the bill won't raise your eyebrows over your hairline. Plus, as Neil Simon once said, "There are two laws in the universe: The Law of Gravity and Everybody Likes Italian Food.

 

8. Wear a jacket or blazer.

A tie couldn't hurt either.

 

9. Don't forget:

Get up from the table when she leaves and returns.

 

10. Tip 20 percent if you expect to return.

Remember to include the wine costs as well, unless you're buying bottles of wine that cost more than $100 each.

 

11. Pay the bill.

If she offers to go Dutch, resist her.

 

12. Offer to switch plates if she hates her meal.

If that doesn't work, ask her what she hates and quietly consult the waiter off to the side.

 

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13. Don't flourish a bribe to a maître d'.

Tip him on the way out if you plan on being a regular.

 

14. Don't share plates.

Especially on a first or second date. Try to stay away from the tasting menu, too, while you're at it.

 

15. Don't order soup.

It will end up on your shirt.

 

16. Don't perform the Heimlich maneuver.

Unless you are an EMT, let the trained staff handle this one.

 

17. On tasting the wine:

Don't make a giant production. Take a sip, nod if it's good, and leave the swishing and spitting for the sommelier.

 

18. Ways to tell a restaurant is bad:

The host proudly offers you a free glass of "kee-ann-tee" if you order an entrée; there is a bouncer out front;the bar is packed, but the dining area is empty; there are women's undergarments stapled above the bar; the restroom is unisex; the host says there's a half-hour wait for a table.

 

19. Other ways to tell a restaurant is bad:

Tonight's music selection: showtunes!; the menu has tassels; the winelist comes in a three-ring binder; the place has no listed phone number; the tables are so close together that the waiter has to pull them out to sit you down; it's one of Todd English's restaurants; the waiters have track marks on their arms.

 

20. Yes, you like oysters.

Still, don't ever suggest a food is an aphrodisiac. It makes you sound like you learned everything you know about romance from your dad's Playboy collection in the garage.

 

21. Don't order coffee.

Because if you order coffee, how on Earth is she going to invite you back to her place for a cup? You can always grab desserts on the way back to her place.

 

*****

 

From Mauritius with love,

 

Zee

Progress Friday--strikethat Saturday!

Hey beautiful people!

Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I sat down early in the morning to write the last chapter of Before The Morning. Got into the action, I blinked, it was time to pick up my son from my mum's... and I was 5-10 pages short of finishing the book. Which I did in the evening. 8,922 words added yesterday, and that means...

The WIP is finished! I wrote 'The End' on the ms yesterday night at 9.17 p.m. It totals at 108,400-something words, and is the longest book I've ever written. Lol, told you that one turned epic on me.

Now I need to take a break from the book for a few days/a week, so I can go back to it with fresh eyes and work in the suggestions of my crit partners. Then it's another round of beta reads, before this baby is sent off to my editor (who is waiting for it eagerly, it appears *grin*).

I'm over the moon right now. This book has been a labour of love all the way. From devising the characters, to tying the overall arc of the Corpus Brides series over all 3 books in this lineup, to the sheer amount of research it took to get this one as beefed up as possible. This is one story where almost every physical location I mention in the book actually exists - from the houses in Mayfair, Notting Hill, and Hastings; to the city centre of Prague; the Roman necropolis at Alyscamps in the south of France; the tunnel shaft of the Brunel Tunnel, found under the Thames and the first ever tunnel dug under a river - each and every one of these places exists and I did my best to get the location and details right. Not to mention the absolute fest of guns and other weapons my characters use - I got a crash course on semi-automatic pistols and sniper rifles, and can't wait to share that with my readers.

So please forgive my lateness with my progress report. I had set my goal to finish this book by yesterday, come what may, and I did it. I started this ms on July 27, and through 3 weeks-winter-break with the kids and them going back to school, and the start of the summer break - I worked for 3 months, 3 weeks, and 2 days on this one. Not bad for an epic-length story, especially when life and other books' edits flitted in too.

I sit back to enjoy a nice, restful weekend now. What are ye all up to? I admit my brain is a tad fried, but it's a good kind of fried, lol.

Wonder what my CP and the sister of my heart, Angela Guillaume, has been up to this week.

Hope you all have a lovely weekend!

From Mauritius with love,

Zee