Link Thursday: Raising A Girl - 16 Things You Wish You'd Known

Hey peeps!

Sorry for yesterday - Blogger would not let me in! I had this post lined up about letting your readers down; guess I'll have to post it another Wednesday now.
And if it's not one thing, it's the other. Today, Twitter won't let me in, giving me it's huge whale picture instead. Growing tired of seeing that one!

Six Sentence Sunday - Calling Home Snippet #5

Hello beautiful people!

It's Sunday, and I'm jumping like a Duracell bunny on steroids here because tomorrow my kids go back into school! Summer break is finally over for them, and I'm in the mood for celebrating - join me? :)

And since it's Sunday, what best way to party than with Six Sentence Sunday? I've been racking my brain trying to come up with a suitable excerpt for today, and that's when my editor's voice rang inside my head. Today I'll show you one of her favourite passages in the book, and I hope, bring on another laugh... while I show my soap-opera-fangirl roots.

So last week, we left Margo pondering about the raging libido of men younger than thirty, and how these men make perfect baby-making machines... Lol. If you thought that was 'twisted', read on for some more of the madness that is inherent to Margo's life. She might appear cold, rational, and totally unruffled, but mind you - appearances can be very deceptive...

This excerpt is taken from Chapter 2. It's the next day after the happenings in Chapter 1 (which you can read here, and from which all my previous SSS snippets from Calling Home are taken).
Hunky village doctor Jamie Gillespie is staying in his uncle's double-fronted Victorian house in Camberry, Surrey. The other half of the house is up for sale, and would you know it - Margo Nolan is looking for a new house that can also accommodate a live-in nanny for her 'daughter', Emma.

Jamie has found Emma kicking stones outside his surgery window. He's come out, they've started talking, and Emma's complaining that her mum - who is not her "real mum" - has totally ruined her life. Jamie is intrigued - is Emma adopted?

Read on for Emma's revelations:


'...

"No, silly, Margo Mum and my mum used to live together before, when I was a baby, then my mum—my real birth mum—left Margo Mum. Margo Mum stayed back in London—" she paused "—some people say my birth mum wanted Margo Mum to have me if she died, but that Granny Ednah didn't agree, so Granny kept everything a secret, and Margo Mum only found out when Granny died."

Say that again? Jamie blew out a deep breath; that exposé was worse than Cliffs Notes for EastEnders. And Emma's mother and Margo lived together?

Margo is a lesbian? ...'

Quite a bummer for the sexy doctor, innit? :) Question is though - is it true? Grab your copy of Calling Home (A Destiny's Child Book) and find out *grin*

Catch amazing SSS snippets over here - a few I'm sure to visit every week are Natalie G. Owens, Siobhan Muir, JM Blackman, Guilie Castillo-Oriard, Layna Pimentel, Jessica E. Subject, Sherry Gloag, Graylin Fox, Rebecca Royce, Lucy Felthouse, Gem Sivad, Lex Valentine, Romancing Alix,  Cate Masters, Joanne Kenrick, Lexcade, Sandra Bunino, Sue K, Tory Michaels (among others! Yes, I told you that list is chock-full of goodies!! *grin*)

Thanks for coming over, and double/triple thanks if you leave a comment. Come on, make my week, will ye?

Have a lovely Sunday, all!

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Random Thoughts' Monday: I'm in two different places today!

Hey beautiful people!

I've been MIA - I know... and I apologize. The reason - well, it's December, and though I don't exactly celebrate the holidays traditionally, well, it's also a month when my son and stepson are on holiday break. Usually, in December, they'll both have gotten their end of year exam results, and hubby will have earned his yearly bonus at work, which sees us going out a lot as a family and well, doing things as a family, esp to reward the boys for a year of studying well (hopefully! These exam report cards can be a total scary deal!). I always promise my son to work less in December, so I can spend the time with them, and this is what I've been doing.

I'm sorry I have to cut down on the blog for that to happen, but I know you people understand. I'm not just a writer - I'm a mum as well, and the years my kids are growing up, I won't get those again once they're gone. If there's one thing life has taught me, it's to enjoy the moment and leave the future for later, for when it'll come.

But, that being said, I am still here, though less prominently! Been working on some changes and updates for 2012 on the blog here - should be able to share with you all shortly! Got big things lined up for next year - I hope you'll stick around and check them out. :)

And, going back to today's post title - well, I'm actually in 2 places at the same time today! 3 if you count this blog. :) How? The magic of the Internet! I didn't realise that I was scheduled for 2 guest slots on the same day, but anyhow, the more the merrier, innit?

So, first off, I'm at author Sandra Bunino's All Things Girl blog today, writing a guest post about... the recipe for the perfect hero! Sandra's been hooked on the Gentlemen's Etiquette Link Thursday posts I've had up in November, and she asked me over. Come check it out:

"....  Welcome to All Things Girl!
This week I’m joined by the beautiful Zee Monodee! Zee brings us a delicious recipe that you are sure to love. Get this – it’s calorie FREE! How awesome is that?!?

Hello everyone!
First of all, let me say thanks to Sandra for inviting me over to All Things Girl (with a title like that, how could I ever refuse???)
So, Sandra and I started hitting Tweets back and forth about today’s topic ..." Continue reading

Then, I'm also in my every-other-month established slot at The Pop Culture Divas blog! Come see how we celebrate the holiday season in my household, in Mauritius! The post starts as such:

"... Hey beautiful people!
I'll admit that when the topic came out for this month's posts, I was stumped - how on earth do you happen to have holiday traditions, of Christmas and all things white and snuggly... when it's 95 degrees outside and the sun is blazing, and in December, you're usually lazing like a lizard soaking up the sun on the grainy white sand of tropical beaches? Yes, can you say 'idiosyncracy'? I could! ..." Continue reading

Drop by, and leave me a little comment! I'm eager to find out what 'ingredient' you include in the recipe for your perfect hero, and I also wanna know how much I've 'shocked' you with my unconventional holiday celebrations!

Hope you all have a lovely weekend, peeps! XOXO

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Six Sentence Sunday - Calling Home Snippet #1

Hey beautiful people!

It's Sunday once again! Where on earth did the past week go? I blinked and the time was gone, barely got anything done too (evident in my lack of posts here!). But, it's Sunday, and I couldn't miss my weekly fix of Six Sentence Sunday now, could I? Especially when I'm about to share with you an excerpt of Calling Home (A Destiny's Child Book), my upcoming release with Noble Romance Publishing that comes out... tomorrow, December 5! Cannot believe the release is right behind the door - again, time flies. :)

So, without further ado, allow me to share with you the very first 6 sentences from this sweet romance novel. This is the setup: the heroine is Margo Nolan, an uptight and clinical forensic pathologist in London. Margo's world takes a spin and lands her flat on her face the day she lands custody of Emma, the girl she brought up like her own when the baby was born.

Read on for a glimpse into Margo's mind. This is the first time I'm sharing an excerpt of the book on the blog - enjoy!


'...

Emotion is something foreign; cold, rational facts and proof drive everything. Brain over heart, always.

Every forensic pathologist knew his or her work boiled down to that line of conduct, and Margo Nolan lived her life by the principles of her job. Emotion used to be an unfamiliar concept most of the time, except for the rare occasions when the pain would tear through her, when she was unable to tamp the suffering into submission. Pain, the sharp, visceral, abject torture that gripped her every time she thought of Emma, during all those years she was away from the daughter of her heart. Lately, pain sliced through her every time her gaze landed on the pretty girl, fast blossoming into a beautiful young woman. ...'

As always, I love, love, love your comments! Leave me your impressions... and make my week. :) Thanks for coming over today, and double thanks if you comment.

Also, don't forget to check the other amazing SSS snippets from a bunch of hugely talented authors over here.

Have a lovely Sunday, peeps!

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Random Thoughts' Monday: The Hazards of Motherhood

Hey peeps

I was all abuzz to start this week on a roll - I mean, kiddo's back in school and all. Except that I didn't count on one tiny little possibility - that he'd leave his cold bug at home, with me.

So here I am today, with a runny nose, having gone through a stack of cotton handkerchiefs and a 200-tissues box, with a raging headache. And I wasn't able to take any medication as I had to drive today.

This got me thinking about the topic of today's post - the hazards of motherhood. Motherhood is supposed to be the most blissful fulfilment of your life, your self-actualisation as a woman and as a wife, the epitome of being a woman, even.

I'm like, what a load of BS! I love my kid to bits, but motherhood is not the saintly fulfilment the world makes it out to be. Maybe to a 50s era, Mad Men-inspired chick, but me - post Year 2000 modern gal striving for a career - I am no Mad Men contender!
So let's list them - the hazards.

1. You will always get sick once everyone has been looked after. It's as if your body goes on standbye while you're running around taking care of everyone, and once that's done, you collapse and the door opens wide for all the bugs and viruses to stream in and jump all over your system like hypercative Duracell bunnies.

2. You always have to play nurse when someone is sick. No matter that you have a life too - it's your "job" to be the nurse, whether to a sick kid or a super-whiny, I'm-on-death's-doorstep-when-I-have-a-cold man.

3. You don't have a life. You're like a secret agent. You have a front in place - that which you do everyday, like your job - but the minute the Agency of Motherhood calls, you have to drop everything and hop onto the assignment.

4. Your are simply NOT allowed failure!

5. Forget about a career, or R&R, or plain existing for yourself. You are now known as "mother of..." and consequently, you ceased to exist.

6. You check the notion of sleep in at the gates of the Hallowed Gardens of Motherhood. From the minute you see that little strip telling you you're pregnant, forget about sleeping a full night with a trouble-free mind, sister! It starts slowly, with heartburn, then it moves to kicks worthy of a Beckham free kick inside your belly, to not being able to find a position to sleep because you are now as immovable as a beached whale at low tide.
When you do get your body back, you proceed to sleepless nights with a crying - often colicky - baby, then a hyperactive toddler whose body simply does not understand circadian rhythms, and then a little kid who does not know what sleep means, because every minute spent awake is a minute where he can play.
You do find some relief to that problem when they become teenagers, and fall prey to the sleep of the vampires - since teens sleep the day away and function at night - but unfortunately for you, life goes on during the day - and you have no way out - and when they're up at night, you are too, because your mind is going in overdrive imagining all the ways they could be getting into trouble.
And according to my mum, even when your kids are out of the house, you still don't sleep well because you worry about them...

7. You become fat. All those leftovers - guess who picks up the plates and goes, "I'm not gonna let that go to waste" and so eats said leftovers? Mum, of course! And then you're surprised when your hips balloon into you looking like you swallowed a waine barrel... Yeah, right! And who on earth has time, and energy, and even an inclination, towards exercising when all's said and done???

8. You are in awe of Switzerland - how on earth can that country remain neutral, and how can you ever channel such neutrality? Half the time, you find yourself in the crossfire between your kids, or between your kid and his father. Channel neutral as Switzerland then, but be ready to be burnt - your kid might resent you once he's grown up, going, "Mum never took my side!", or your husband/the father of your child might decide to turn into a child too and sulk away because you didn't take his side (and at times like that, you wonder if you're even a wife/gf/baby mama or just a mother to all things with a Y-chromosome in their genetic makeup...)

9. Did I mention you have no life? No time for you? No possibility of claiming that you need a break before you have a full blown mental breakdown? No sick leave, and "help" means the man gets takeout, one night, so you don't have to cook. Except that one night is simply not enough as a break!

10. Oh yes, I forgot - you will earn a slew of other titles, among them, "chief cook", "chauffeur", "that nagging woman", and also "omniscient being who keeps everything running smoothly but we have no clue - and we don't give a damn - how she does it".

Ah, the joys of motherhood... Someone beam me to the real heaven now, pleeeeeeeaaaaase!

From Mauritius with love,
Zee

Link Thursday: 20 Girl Things I Never Knew In My 20s

Hey beautiful people

I've been MIA for the past few days - had a sick kid on hand. Touching wood that it's the first time this winter that my son came down sick, and hopefully we're out of the woods as winter seems to be leaving. It's sunnier and warmer this week. Anyway, the mums who read this post will know - there's nothing as harrying as a sick kid on hand. And when it also happens that your husband is uber-cool usually but flies into a raving panic the minute his kids get sick, let me just tell you that I haven't had the easiest of weeks. I had to look after my son on one hand, and calm my husband down on the other. Needless to say, I was wiped and didn't get much done. Priority was my WIP deadline, and that's what I focused what was left of my energy on.

Okay, so I'm back on board now, and it's Thursday - so here's the link and article for today's Link Thursday post.

Very wise words from the author, Carla Smith who writes for Divine Caroline, over at Betty Confidential.com. You can click here and find this article online.

I couldn't believe how true those words were! I'm still in my 20s, and I'm so glad someone has let me in on the secret from the other side of that female milestone called Menopause. And without wanting to scare the childless ones of you out there, but what is said about childbirth is soooo true!

Read on - you won't be disappointed either.

*****

20 Girl Things I Never Knew In My 20s

Why couldn't I have learned these valuable lessons sooner?

By Carla Smith, Divine Caroline

1. That someday your prince will come but that is so not the end of the story. Happily ever after does exist but is another quest with different courage requirements.

2. That your intuition and instincts need to be nurtured and can be trusted. They are a millenia of wisdom gifted in genetics created just for you. Trust your gut and ask lots of questions.

3. That childbirth is not the intimate place you dream of. It’s you at your animal best/worst. Consider reinstating The Red Tent. Really.

4. Childbirth changes things. Especially sex. Not permanently, maybe, but they will change for enough reasons that warrant an entire post of its own.

5. That the physical pain of child birth will rip you apart and feel like a Mack truck ploughing through your vagina, crushing your pelvic bones.

6. That the physical pain of childbirth will be more than matched in intensity by the ferocious love and mother bear protection borne that day and will surprise even you. That raising children will be the most difficult thing you will ever do and one thing you will never regret. One great adventure.

7. That having periods kind of sucks - forever.

8. That not having periods sucks more. There’s just something about fertility.

9. That taking a pill that messes with your hormones is constantly more than a little concerning.

10. That not taking that pill is way more concerning.

11. That first time sex is mostly awkward, anti-climactical (literally) and unforgettable.

12. That uninhibited love making is an addictive, fun elixir; maybe the Holy Grail.

13. That you will forfeit many relationships in the ‘learn by mistakes’ School of Communications skill acquisition; that redemption is one of life’s greatest gifts and forgiving yourself the hardest apology to elicit. Do it and move on. Too many gifts are denied to the world in self flagellation.

14. That one day you will secretly delight in the opposite gender glances you still receive. Then you will realize that they are not intended for you but are directed at your teen-age daughters—even by men your own age. Especially by men your own age.

15. That model-like thinness is not something most men desire. They like boobs, butts and curves. Why? Because they don’t have them. Huge thank-you to the guy who taught me that.

16. That menopause will feel like betrayal of your body. All those years of eating well and exercising matter little to power hungry hormones.

17. That guys will always crane their necks to look at the youthful curves walking on by. Institute the Three Second Rule and be thankful your guy is appreciative.

18. That you will lose yourself being a stay-at-home mother. It’s necessary. And that finding yourself again someday will be tougher than you think. But your ‘money’ will be in the bank.

19. That you may lose much more trying to juggle it all. That you may still have to find yourself again someday. But it may be easier. I don’t know. Not my path. Sorry.

20. That a smile IS your best accessory, that honesty IS the best policy, that what goes around DOES come around and that you will NEVER stop growing or changing and most of all when you least expect it.

Life is long but not long enough. Do unto others, stay curious and always tip the mailman.

*****

From mauritius with love,

Zee

Random Thoughts' Monday: It's okay to let go...

Hey peeps

New week, new start. My son went back to school today, and I, for one, am jumping with joy! After what seems like ages, I managed to sit down and write uninterrupted for 3 hours. Saw a scene I totally hadn't planned come together, and my heroine hijacked her characterization. I'm gonna have to adapt to the new direction she took this morning.

But back to this post's topic - Letting go. I am a completely anal compulsive perfectionist. Everything I do has to be, well, perfect... Lol, I am definitely not perfect, so maybe I compensate for that in all I endeavour to do.

We all know here that I am also not a domestic goddess. My one attempt to make bread resulted in a 'rock' that could break concrete. But thank goodness, other things I cook turn out okay. Mind though - I really don't like to cook, or eat, for that matter. I have a strange love-hate relationship with food, probably thanks to my past as an overweight gal.

In waltzes my 8-year-old son. He's a foodie if I ever saw one - loves to eat and loves to prepare food. He watches all those cooking TV shows - Nigella Lawson, Jamie Oliver, Sanjeev Kapoor, Chak Le India and Highway on my Plate. He even knows cooking techniques that I've never heard of!

But for God's sake, he's 8! I don't want a kid let loose in my kitchen, where there are bubbling pans, burning stoves, and very sharp knives. So what do I do when he approaches the very safe zone of the kitchen island when I'm preparing food?

This is what happened on Saturday, when I was making spring rolls for dinner. Filling was cooked and cooled, all the instruments I needed were laid out, and the only thing left to do was actually roll up the rolls. It looks like a tricky technique but is in fact quite easy... Guess you know where this is going - a little boy asked me if he could help...

My first instinct was to say No. But then I caught myself - he'd been home for 3 weeks and though we did do stuff together, we didn't do as much stuff as I believed a 'perfect' mum did.

We spent the following hour rolling spring rolls side by side. I showed him how, and his little hands were surprisingly deft and quick. Though there have been some mishaps along the way, in the end, you couldn't figure out which ones I'd rolled and which ones he'd done.

And that's when I realized that it's okay - important even - to let go sometimes. In an unexpected moment, my son and I bonded like we never have before, and I'm sure the first time we rolled spring rolls together will remain a treasured memory we'll carry for as long as we live. It was all about the moment, and in the end, it's the little moments that count; it's the little moments that assemble to create tapestries of memories and happiness.

I should learn to let go more, to trust that everything is not dependent on me to turn out all right. This is what my son taught me this weekend, and what I wanted to share with you all.

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Updating...

Hey peeps

I'm in full throes of harried motherhood right now. Kiddo is on winter break, and since the weather is so dismal and awful here, we're stuck inside the house and all I get to hear is video game music or surround-sound TV noise.

And when you know my kid - mind, he's a good lad, just talks waaaaaayyyy too much! - you also know that within one hour of being with him, you're fit enough to book yourself for a lobotomy, stat.

Not in any position mentally to do anything but read and hope to understand what my eyes are picking up to send to my scrambled brain. Plus time just zips by, and when you're temporarily one parent down in your household (my husband is at a workshop and leaves and gets back home when it's already dark), it's not easy being 24/7 with a rambunctious 8-year old who can talk the hind leg off a donkey.

So that's why I'm not posting much this week. Things should get back to normal next week when my husband's job goes back to normal, but in the meantime, I have to hang in there.

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Random Thoughts' Monday: Parenting is not easy

Over the past few weeks, my husband's been attending a special workshop related to his job, and that's on top of his usual working hours. He leaves before we leave for school in the morning, and he's back in the evenings just before the kiddo goes to bed. So for the most part, in the recent month or so, I've been the only parent around the house most of the time.

And suddenly I've got a whole new level of respect and admiration for single parents! Especially for those single parents who don't have the other parent's support and help. Single mums, even more so. I can't say I've been in their shoes over the past month, but I kinda have an idea what it feels like, and if I'd had to deal with my kid all the time like this, I dunno if I would've been able to.

Parenting is hard. We always had clear roles here - I'm only 20 years older than my kid, 16 years older than my stepson. I'm more a buddy than a parent - my son and I are almost always arguing and going into lines like "Did Not! - Did Too!", that sort of deal. We love each other to bits, but it's always my husband, and their dad, who is the authority figure in our home. I can get the boys to obey me but they'll do things their way even if they get the job done. Not the case if their dad lays down the law. And not having him home recently during most of the time when I interact with the kid, I also have to become the authority figure, get him to listen and obey.

And that's not an easy feat, you know. I mean, of course he's a kid and at some point he's gonna cave in and do what you're telling him (allright - nagging him) to do. But taking on this mantle of being the carer, the buddy, the authority - how do you not get lost in there? How much is too much, too less, not enough? Plus my husband has always been a hands-on dad. We split the nights into shifts, taking turns to look after a demanding baby who woke up, on the dot, every 3 hours for a feed. He'd only drink like 30ml from the bottle, and probably throw it all up on you when you try to get him to burp. Then he'd go back to sleep, and 3 hours later, the routine starts again. Even though I had my husband's help, I could not prevent post-partum depression from rearing its ugly head up...

How would I have done if I'd been a single mum? And that's why I applaud and give two thumbs up and raise my hat and glass up to single parents! These people don't have it easy, but they battle through and look after their kids to the best they can. Through all that, they're probably the bread winner too, and basically also, single people probably looking for love and everything else people look for/aspire to. How do they do it? I wonder...

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Random Thoughts' Monday: I confess, I'm an imperfect mum...

Hey peeps

Cannot wait - another few hours until Walking The Edge goes up live and for sale! But that's not my point today, at least, not now. :) The topic is me as an imperfect mother!

I guess you know I have 2 boys at home. My son is 8, and my stepson is 12. Both are going on 30 and of course, know everything better than me or their dad. And if you look at the pic right next, that's how they both see me. Every time they watch Dexter's Laboratory, the very-blonde, very energetic, very airhead-y and maniacal Dee Dee is the one who gets them going, she is totally like you! *me rolling my eyes here*

But yes, what can I say? I love the colour pink, I do flit around with a light step, I do like to sing (especially Abba tunes when I'm cooking). And unfortunately, I do look like an airhead too. Almost all the people I deal with physically, slow their speech around me and take extreme patience (especially the older men - afflicted by paternal patience, I tell you!) to explain and communicate with me. As if there are no brains inside my head. Duh! I am not ashamed though - I'm a girly girl and proud of it, but do credit me with some good sense and some grey matter too!

So how does a girly girl bring up boys in today's world? It's a hard world out there, for any kid, boy or girl. I don't have daughters, so I don't know what it's like to bring up girls and all they face in that arena out there. For me though, I do know I need to bring up those boys so that they respect others, and women, now and when they'll be grown men. Of course they need to do well in school, etc, but I'm an imperfect mum - I don't harp at 1 mark lost or that each will not be topping the ranks in their class, that sort of thing. I also want them to have manners, consideration for others, compassion.

On the whole, I think I'm on track. But sometimes I despair. Why? Well, yesterday we were without power for a whole day! Stuck at home between 8-5 with two stir-crazy boys who are not getting their Playstation fix, and even the batteries on the GameBoy has gone flat. So what was left to do? After playing Uno and Monopoly for 2-3 straight hours, we sat down and.... talked!

Now what do young boys talk about? No - you'd be surprised. Not girls! We're still in the stage where they'll make gagging noises when you mention girls, and this is what I despair about. Why? Check out what my son has said yesterday.

He just got a new GameBoy cartridge where there's about 100 games or so. All boy stuff like Tekken and Street Fighter and what else other bash-me-up stuff. But, guess what - there's also a version of the Disney My Little Mermaid game on there. I pointed it out, and my son came running towards me, screaming:

"Muuuuuum!!!!!!! Nooooooooooooo! Don't play that game on my GameBoy - you'll contaminate it!"

I was like, huh? Since when does something girly contaminate guy stuff?

But we're not out of the woods yet! My stepson starts telling me how there's this new game called Fashion World (or something like that) and how it's totally eeeek for him (typical guy, innit?). I ask why, and he goes,

"Well, you have this girl in there, this model, and you have clothes and accessories--"
At which point my son interrupts, to say,
"I know! You have to decorate her like a Christmas tree!"

By the time I finished with those lads yesterday, I was ready for a double dose of Mamma Mia and me singing along to all the tunes! I know I'm a imperfect mum, but tell me I am still on track with bringing those boys up... Pleeeeeeeease!

From Mauritius with love,

Zee