Link Thursday: Raising A Girl - 16 Things You Wish You'd Known

Hey peeps!

Sorry for yesterday - Blogger would not let me in! I had this post lined up about letting your readers down; guess I'll have to post it another Wednesday now.
And if it's not one thing, it's the other. Today, Twitter won't let me in, giving me it's huge whale picture instead. Growing tired of seeing that one!

Link Thursday: 6 Ways We're All Bridget Jones (& no need to be a chick-lit character to possess those traits!)

Photo from BettyConfidential.com

Hey beautiful people!

It's been ages since I posted something coming from me and not from a guest. I know my guest buddies are keeping you occupied when you drop by here, but I also know some are missing my ramblings (whoever would've thought, eh? LOL) and esp the Link Thursday madness & mayhem.
So here it is, back, and me tagging along.

Have you heard the news? There's a third Bridget Jones novel coming out in 2013. November, if I'm not mistaken. And there are rumors - almost confirmed - that a movie will follow. I saw an interview on TV the other day, quite old from a 2012 edition of Films & Stars, where Colin Firth dropped hints that a third movie might be in the making. I know I'll be gobbling down that book, and the movie, too.

I mean, who doesn't love Bridget Jones? Who hasn't identified, in some part or the other, with her? No, we don't all go screaming 'All by myself' to the top of our lungs while gettin drunk in PJs and socks (it's ABBA, all right. Not 'All by myself'...). And who has never had the misfortune of wearing granny knickers on any day, let alone one where you might've gotten lucky?

True - Bridget Jones is a fictional character that's somewhat over the top. But are we, 'normal' women, that much different from her?

Nopes... and this article here proves my point. Read on to catch what I mean.
(the article starts on Betty Confidential, and then the link crosses to YourTango).

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6 Ways We're All Bridget Jones

 

Singletons and smug marrieds, get excited-because the 'wanton sex goddess' is back

Attention, Bridget Jones fans: We are v. excited that a new installment of our favorite awkward heroine is in the works! Helen Fielding has written another chapter in the life of the quirky Brit, and the book is scheduled for an autumn 2013 release.

For the uninitiated, Bridget Jones' Diary — the tale of a desperate yet endearing everywoman and her clumsy and often hilarious pursuit of true love (or at least a good date) — debuted in 1996 and quickly became and international bestseller and cultural phenom. Two movies followed, with Renee Zellweger as our quirky protagonist, and single 30-something women everywhere found a fumbling heroine they could finally relate too. It was in Bridget’s constantly adorable flaws — namely her fixation on her body image, awkward approach to dating and penchant for wallowing in her misery (who can forget her onscreen rendition of "All By Myself"?) that we wach saw a bit of ourselves. We are all Bridget Jones to some degree — whether that makes us uncomfortable or not. Here are a few examples:

1. We go for the sexy d-bag. It’s hard to not want to be with the hottest guy around. And when our crush actually shows an interest, the tempation to follow through can be irresistible — despite the guy's less questionable reputation and aloof behavior. Bridget's obsession with Daniel Cleaver (played by Hugh Grant in the film) is perfect example of our tendence to torture ourselves with Mr. Wrong.

2. We fall down. Both literally and metaphorically, we all fall from grace. Whether it’s the result of a bottle of vodka or a heartbreak that is so devastating that our knees give out — or, in Bridget's case, a very unfortunate bunny costume misunderstanding — we’ve all found ourselves on the ground staring at the ceiling.

3. We’re dumb when it comes to love. Seriously. Who hasn’t had love stare them in the face and fail to realize it until it was too late? Sometimes it’s just not easy to pick up on even obvious hints — like the fact that Mark Darcy was in love with Bridget the whole time. Then again, real-life Mark Darcys don't always look like a young Colin Firth.

4. We tend to think that nice guys are boring. Who knows where it started, but women just love the bad boys. we all want the man who is challenging and infuriating at first; the one who probably sees us as nothing special at the beginning but yet we seem to win over right before the closing credits. Isn’t that the dream after all? To be loved for even your craziness? In the words of Mark Darcy, "I like you just as you are." It’s only after years of heartbreak that we finally understand that the "nice" guys aren’t so boring after all. They actually give a damn, unlike the bad eggs.

5. We obsess about our weight. It’s a painful truth, but many of us fixate on having a perfect (read: thin) body, often to our own pain and detriment. Bridget Jones would freak out if her weight surpassed 130 pounds — a perfectly non-fat size 6, in most cases.

6. We make scenes. Okay, so maybe most of us don’t stage the epic scenes that Bridget Jones is famous for, but maybe that’s just because we’ve learned from her mistakes because we’ve seen the movie too many times. Or because we're not fictional characters. Either way, we're all a little guilty of making the occasional dramatic outburst that we regret in the morning.

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What do you think, peeps? I might've been married for nearly 11 years and completely blipped over what it felt like to be a singleton out there looking for Mr. Right, but I still recall I had my Bridget moments throughout the years.

How about you?

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Link Thursday: 4 Things You Think Are Sexy, But Aren't... (& don't make your heroine do them!!!)

Hey beautiful peeps!

Lol, looks I'll really be able to do a whole week of posts, after all. Giddy feeling (which has been lingering since Monday, when I got some pubbing good news. More on that tomorrow!).

But yup - back on this Thursday with a new linked article. Browsing through my stash, I found this one and it called to me. Since last week, we went after 44 places where you can find eligible men, it comes to mind that you (or your heroine, in your book/s) will be doing everything you can to snatch up the attention of that elusive creature called the 'eligible bachelor'.
Somehow, can we end up doing too much...?

Seems the case. I mean, we've all been single at some point, and even in our relationships, there are times when we've wanted to come across as sexy to our partner. And with hindsight, you realize you've gone a little too far. How? Check out those 4 things that might clock us on the head as sexy (esp during brain-AWOL moments such as late partying nights or, even, a bad day!), but really aren't.

And trust me, after reading these, you'll at least kinda agree with these article authors... When I was younger, I've played the helpless princess too many times to count, and it's a wonder how my man has not simply dumped me for being such a brat. He must have the patience of a saint (or be really in love... I'll settle for that, lol).

Article came from Betty Confidential, written by Elizabeth Marie, posted in and around August 2012. Find the whole thing online here.

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4 Things You Think Are Sexy That Really Aren't

 

Sometimes what with think is a sexy turn-on is actually a major turn-off!

Have you ever thought you were being so ultra sexy and alluring, only to look back days, weeks or months later and cringe, thinking “WHAT was I thinking?” We have too, so we've compiled a short list of the common things women do that they think are sexy, but just...aren't!

1. Showing all your skin at once.

Sometimes women get a bit overly excited when choosing what to wear, or more specifically, what not to wear and we think it's a genius idea to wear the tiniest articles of clothing in our closets if we want to attract a man. I think it's because we all saw the movie Clueless one too many times and really took it to heart when Cher said, "Sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds boys of being naked, and then they think of sex." While, yeah sure, it's always fun if the guy you have a crush on thinks of sex when he see's you, but you're more than sex; You're funny and interesting and fun to talk to and make a damn good omelet. Don't blind him with so much skin that he forgets all the important stuff.

2. Sexting.

Does this word make anyone else wildly uncomfortable? I mean, we're adults right? And we're having sex...via text message? Ok, got it. Texting is probably the number one form of communication these days, which is a whole other depressing topic, but of course we couldn't leave well enough alone...we had to go and spice it up and turn it sexual! The thing is though, if you're dating someone and like, actually see them or talk to them all the time, what does a hot sexting session bring to the table? Not to mention, my iPhone likes to embarrass me on a daily basis with it's absurd auto corrects, and that's just when I'm texting my best friend. If you've gotta get your rocks off and you're not with your man, get thee on Skype and at least see each other while you tell him all the naughty things you'd do to him if he were there. Or just go read Fifty Shades Of Grey like every other pent up woman in the world!

3. Body oil…everywhere.

When I was growing up, I'd sit at my grandmothers vanity for hours, mesmerized by her collection of beautiful bottles and jars from Charles of the Ritz, Chanel and Escada....and Neutrogena. Neutrogena light sesame body oil, to be precise. For my entire life I believed that body oil was something very glamorous and a must-have if I wanted to be a beautiful woman with the softest skin in all of the land. Um, you guys? That crap gets everywhere! You can't get dressed for an hour after you put it on, and sometimes at the gym later on in the day I'll look down and realize I'm glistening...and not in a sexy way, more like a “holy crap I look like a disco ball exploded” way. Sure, it makes your skin soft, but what's the point if your man can't touch you for hours after you put it on? My advice? Jergens. Not glamorous, not sticky.

4. Acting helpless.

Isn't it so hot when you're in a time of need and a sexy man swoops in and rescues you? It feels good to feel protected and taken care of, so good in fact that some women pretend to need rescuing when they really don't. Getting a flat tire on the freeway during rush hour is an emergency, and calling your boyfriend in tears is perfectly acceptable. Forgetting to put gas in your car and complaining that you have no way to get to work in the morning is completely unacceptable. Sure, guys love helping their girl out, but they don't want the two following things to happen:

1. They begin to feel taken for granted and used and

2. They begin to realize that the woman they've been dating can't take care of herself. So let him save your day from time to time... just not everyday.

Elizabeth Marie is the social media manager for We Love Dates, a worldwide online dating site and maintains their popular We Love Dates blog. Liz can be found sweating it out at her favorite hot yoga studio or laying on her couch watching copious amounts of reality television. One of those things is not like the other. Keep in touch with We Love Dates on Facebook or Twitter!

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From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Link Thursday: 44 Places To Meet Eligible Men (...or where your heroine can next find her hero!)

Hey beautiful people!

Back on board with the Link Thursday articles. Feels good to be here again. *grin*

Was browsing through the endless string of links I've accumulated for this slot, and came upon this one.

Whether you're a single girl looking for a bloke, or you're an author racking your brain to come up with where to make your heroine find your next hero, check out these tips!

The article is from All Women Stalk and can be read online (with its lovely images!) here. It was written by someone named Mercy, and as she mentions, 'some time ago'. :)

Enjoy!

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44 Best Places To Meet Eligible Men

Places to Meet Eligible Men become more and more scarce these days. Heck, even eligible men as they are have become a rare species. And what do we single ladies do about this? Well, my guess is it can go 2 ways – either we sit and wait for the good men to sweep us off our feet or we simply take the first step toward our destiny and check out the best places to meet eligible men to see if our future boyfriends or husbands might be there? Well, if you are like me and you are choosing the second option, let’s get ready for some action and take a quick look at this fabulous list of 44 Best Places to Meet Eligible Men!

1. The Bar
This may be one of the oldest ways to meet a man, but it still works. Free flowing beer makes it easier to approach your target! However, if ‘commitment’ is on your mind, then look elsewhere!

2. The Market
Whether it’s the shopping mall or the supermarket these places are loaded up with good looking folks. Chances are you’ll find someone who lives in your neighborhood and likes coffee the way you do. A bookstore is another place to meet someone with similar tastes – at least in literature!

3. Online
This is the latest method of meeting single men. There are several online dating sites where you can check out profiles and photographs. The best one I’ve heard of is PlentyofFish.com, because all the services there are free. But there are others like Match.com, Chemistry.com (Limited time offer – 7 Day Free Trial) or Perfectmatch.com that too seem to be pretty good, although you’ll have to spend some money on membership. Online dating became a relatively safe method as you can get to know your date before you go out with him.

4. Church
Church is a good place to meet men who share the same faith and moral grounding. If you’re a single mom, this may be a good place to find serious men who are looking for a life partner rather than a night out on the town.

5. The Water Cooler
If you can get past the gossip, the office is a place where romance can be sparked. Being in such close proximity with colleagues can lead to an office romance. Finding someone of the same intellectual level may be easier at the workplace than at the bar!

6. Newspapers
Check out the newspapers for announcements regarding neighborhood picnics, square dances, tours and special events. These are great places to meet new people, especially single men! Go ahead strike up a conversation. You might end up meeting your spouse.

7. College
If you’re taking some classes at the local college this could be an opportunity to meet eligible men. There are seminars and short courses that you can participate in. Not only can you get an education but you can find that perfect someone perhaps sitting right next to you.

8. Friends
Get your friends to help if you’re serious about finding a man. Attend parties where there is a good mix of singles. Be friendly, outgoing and be seen! You can even throw a party yourself and tell friends to bring their friends along.

9. Gym
While you exercise your muscles you can exercise your heart as well. The gym is a great place to meet single men, specially the hot men! You’ll know in advance that they value their health and you know what to expect when thir expensive suit comes off, so that’s a good starting point!

10. Favorite diner or restaurant
Notice the guy who’s having dinner by himself at the far corner table? Well, what you waiting for? Get a waiter to introduce you or do it yourself. Either way, make a move.

11. Work
Either in your office or in the accounting on the 19th floor there must be that cute, nice, good-looking guy who makes your heart tick. Figure out where exactly he works, what’s his name, if he’s available, and let the flirting beging! Who knows, maybe the guy in the next cubicle is the one you were looking for all this time!

12. Vacation
I know they say that relationships that started on vacation never last, but that was way back in the 20th century! Now that air fares are getting lower and lower and Internet live video chats is the most common thing out there – why not to give a great man you met on a vacation a chance? Who knows, maybe in a couple of months you’ll decide you want to live together?

13. Parks
When I say parks I mean day time, safe places downtown, where people go to get some fresh air during lunch break, after work or on weekends. For your own safety, please don’t stay there after dark. But during the day, you’ll be surprised at how many young good looking men spend an hour or so sitting on a bench reading, working on their laptops or just watching other people. Just sit next to the one you like the most and if he is in the mood for conversation, you’ll know it!

14. Airplane
These days we spend a good couple of hours every month flying here and there. Next time you have a flight, look out for cute guys who might too be flying the same plane. And who knows, maybe your seat will be next to his!

15. House party
Any party is always a fun way to meet people but with a house party, everything is so much more in your control and it’s comforting to know that common friends are involved. So throw a fun little party, invite all your friends and tell them to invite their friends (preferably single). You never know who you may end up meeting and if nothing, at least they’ll be grateful for the awesome party!

16. Acting workshop
If you’re not shy and love an audience, why not join an acting class. You will meet tons of taleneted, fun, outgoing men and you’ll have a ready excuse to flirt with them. What? You’re only playing your part! Besides, you’ll figure out quite early on who you do and do not share chemistry with and the rest will be history.

17. Art Exhibits
They say that without art, the earth is just “eh”. Sorry I read that somewhere today and had to share. Back to the point, art exhibits are one of the best places to meet eligible men. Whether you are an art lover or not, an exhibit will give you an opportunity and an excuse to chat with different men, get to know them, perhaps flirt a little and if the chemistry is just right, maybe you could take the party elsewhere.

18. Book Club
If you love reading, one of the best ways to meet like-minded men is through a book club. Think about it. You read, you share opinions, you find similarities, you hit it off, you fall in love…Okay, I’ll stop.

19. Blood drive
This one is definitely not for the squeamish! If you watch The Office, you’ve probably seen the episode where Michael runs into this pretty woman while donating blood and hits it off instantly. That could be you. Strike up a conversation with someone who’s next to you or if you see a cutie by the snack table, ask him what he recommends for strength building.Who knows, you may end up deciding that dinner is the best option. And even if you don’t end up meeting someone, you’ve at least helped save a life.

20. Rock climbing center
If you’re adventurous, a rock climbing center is one of the best places to meet eligible men. According to a study, nearly two-thirds of wall climbers are male so imagine your chances of meeting someone wonderful and exciting. Plus rock climbing is fun with lots of scope for “accidental” touching and flirting and such. Ah I’m just a pervert sometimes.

21. Wine/scotch tasting
If a bar is much too loud and chaotic for your liking, how about going to a wine/scotch tasting event? It’s a lot calmer, quieter and not to mention, sober. Whether you actually know your wines or feign innocence, you are bound to meet an eligible bachelor or two. Besides, it gives you plenty of time to “work the room” and figure out your options.

22. Running Club
A friend actually met his current girlfriend through a running club so if you’re into outdoor sports, find a local running club, put on your shoes and get out there! Men in running shorts are so cute and if nothing else, at least you’ll get back in shape.

23. Community service
Giving back to the community is always a great thing and who knows, your karma might actually earn you an eligible man. There are plenty of places where you can volunteer so take your pick and give away. At the end of the day, you know you’re going to meet someone who cares…

24. Weddings
I know that the common belief is that all single men at weddings just want to get laid but I beg to differ. Some of them are perfectly charming, pre-bride approved gentlemen that are out there looking for eligible women. You just need to give them a chance. Just don’t get too drunk and you’ll see what I mean.

25. Dance class
I know you’re probably wondering why dance classes are on the list of best places to meet eligible men since they usually have more women than men but it’s definitely worth a shot considering you will be forced to physically interact with potential hotties. If you feel the chemistry and if the small talk is intriguing enough, hang back, get to know him better and see where it goes…

26. Laundromats
The only thing that makes the idea of laundry bearable is the possibility of meeting a cute guy and if you run into someone who fits that description, do not hesitate tochat him up. What could it hurt right?

27. Jury duty
It may sound boring but think about this. Other bored, possibly wonderful eligible men could be out there and they have nothing to do but chat you up. Sound good? So yep, don’t ignore your civic duty the next time you receive a summons in the mail.

28. Ski resorts
You might probably need to wait till winter for this one, but hey, it’s great to have a B plan if you will be looking for a hot date to take to all the Holiday parties. Knowing how to ski is not necessary, you can try and learn, but if you just go to the resort to relax or have fun with your friends, you’ll be surprised at the dozens of sporty good looking eligible men having a hot drink in the bar after an exhausting day of skiing. And is there a more romantic place to find the man of your dreams than under the stars in the middle of snow covered mountains?

29. Reality shows
If all else fails and I mean ALL else, reality shows like the Bachelorette seem like a fun way to meet a lot of men who want to make you the center of their attention. I mean, who wouldn’t want that! Oh wait, this is about eligible men… I need to cut down on T.V.

30. In the Navy
One of the best places to meet eligible men is, unquestionably, the Navy. Even if you don’t want to make the commitment of joining the Navy, you can make yourself available during shore leaves and Fleet Weeks. These men are brave, handsome, and generally dying to get away from all those boys!

31. Walking the dog
Most guys love dogs, so when you’re walking your pooch, you’ve got a great opportunity to meet one. Big dogs like Labradors and Retrievers are always a great draw, but if you have a little dog, don’t worry. Many men have a secret love for the little dogs as well. If you’re friendly and make eye contact (and if your dog doesn’t try to mark his territory in an awkward spot), you should be golden!

32. The hardware store
You’ll be surprised at what a great place it is to meet men. First of all, almost all the clients are men and so are the sales assistants. And being a woman, you’ll find it natural to ask for help that cute stranger who will gladly explain you the difference between this and that tool. Who knows, he might ask you out for coffee to continue the conversation…

33. The tech store
Tech stores are men magnets. I do not know a single guy who would pass on the opportunity to come and take a look at some new weird plasma TV or sound system or whatever it is he’s read about on his favorite tech blog. So take it from me, most customers in tech stores are also men, and many of them are very good looking. Now, you’ll surely see a couple of married guys (of course), but you’ll be surprised at the number of single guys browsing these stores. Give this one of the best places to meet eligible men a try and you won’t regret it.

34. Museums
Now, I know this might sound a little cliche, but what’s the best way to meet someone, when you are visiting a new city than going to a local museum. There are hundreds of single men who, just like you, want to check the museums off their lists when they travel to a new city and believe me, they’ll be happy to have a conversation with a cute girl, especially when there are so many conversational pieces around. Museums are also fantastic for meeting artsy guys and foreigners, so if you are feeling adventures, this is the place to meet eligible men.

35. The bowling alley
I know you probably think, how old the guys in the bowling alley would be? 60? 70? But don’t be so quick, I have personally seen a couple of times guys coming in in groups for a little game. And may I say, some of them were very cute.

36. The golf course
Ditto on this one, although golfing can be quite a bit more boring than bowling. The difference is, the course isn’t so loud and crowded either, and you can really get a chance to talk to a guy. If he looks really into the game, let it pass, but if he’s with some friends and they’re chatting together as much as golfing, go for it!

37. Casinos
Although loud, casinos can also be great places to meet eligible men. You don’t want to talk to a guy when he’s right in the middle of a heavy game or anything, but if you’re both playing Blackjack, if you’re sitting at the slots, or one of you is throwing dice, then you can start a conversation. It’ll be casual, but that can lead to other things.

38. Concerts
Concerts are a fantastic place to meet eligible men, especially if it’s your favorite performer. You will instantly have an interest in common and when you are a fan of something it’s so easy to bond with the other person. The connection sparks instantly, so try this place to meet eligible men and see who you meet!

39. At a club
Now, many guys just go to clubs to hook up. A lot of them aren’t necessarily looking for someone to date. However, there are exceptions to every rule, and that is the only reason nightclubs made it onto the list. You have to have an eagle eye, but if you spot this guy, you’ll be glad. He likes to dance and hang out and have a good time, but he isn’t the boy who’s only into ranking up as many one night stands as possible.

40. The beach
The beach is not just a great place to meet eligible men, it’s a fantastic place! See, guys who go to the beach generally fall into three different categories. They go alone, and depending on what you see them doing, that probably means they’re single (so if you can think up an approach, do it!). They go with a group of guy friends, and again, you can typically tell by their behavior if they’re single. Or, they go with their wives or girlfriends. If you see a guy spreading lotion on someone else, just play it safe and scratch him off your list!

41. At a cigar bar
I don’t know many girls who like cigar bars, but I know plenty of guys who do! Sure, you’re going to be entering forbidden territory, but it might well be worth it. These places have tons of eligible guys, and the kicker is, most of them think any girl in a cigar bar is automatically cool!

42. A sushi bar
Surprisingly, more and more men start loving sushi. And nowadays, when you pop into a nice such restaurant you see more men and women. Some of them are having business dinner, others are meeting with a friend, but there are those, sitting at the bar, having dinner after work on their own – and those are you could easily sit next to and perhaps strike a conversation if you feel like it. Or he’ll be the first to talk, guys are usually like that – they catch your eye and they just start talking to you.

43. The bookstore
Meeting men at a bookstore is just tops, especially if you’re a big reader. You know he shares your interests, you automatically have plenty to talk about, and since most bookstores provide little chairs and comfy couches, you already have a cozy spot to get to know one another. What could be better?

44. A networking event
A networking event can be dull as hell or it can be fun and interesting. To make sure it’s the latter, take a friend of yours from work with you, make sure your hair’s done and you are dressed nicely and you’ll definitely turn a few heads. A lovely place to meet eligible men, if you ask me!

So, do you ladies know about other great places to meet eligible men? Please do share …

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From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Link Thursday: 4 Things Women Do That Men Will Never Understand

Hey beautiful people!

There's finally some brilliant sun accompanied by a dose of warmth here on the island! Not a cloud in the blue, blue sky, and no hint of rain or humidity! Whoo-hoo! This is making me giddy and I'm flitting around like a carefree butterfly... and in the process, the blokes here are looking at me as if I've just sprung up from a beaming light coming from a far away, unknown dimension...

I keep telling them - that's girls for you. This is who and how we are, but I suppose they're never gonna get it, poor souls.

And then I saw this article and thought it was perfect to illustrate my point!

As applicable to real-life ( just like my guys don't 'get' me, I'm sure yours don't, too) as it can apply to fiction and romance; some aspects of your heroine, well you poor hero is totally not gonna understand!

So here we go with this list. I grabbed the article from BettyConfidential, and you can view it online here.

And yeah - here they have to slug through Gossip Girl, not The Bachelorette. *grin* And I totally 'get' the pinning and 'stuff'...

Enjoy!

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4 Things Women Do That Men Will Never Understand

 

TV shows we obsess over, the joys of Pinterest, the need for chocolate...these are things that boggle a guy's mind.

Updated on July 15, 2012, 12:57 pm ET

By Elizabeth Marie

Communication and understanding are crucial in relationships. However, some things just can't be explained...to a man. Here are the four things women do that men will just never understand.

1. Have PMS.

Lets break it down. EVERY month like clockwork certain things happen. And every month you're surprised. You can't understand what it's like to have your body and mind taken over by an overly emotional, starving devil woman with a sweet tooth, so just call me on the 15th of every month and don't worry, I'll let you know. I'm fairly certain many men think PMS is some mystical party trick we bust out when we're feeling especially feisty...or hungry. As shocking as many men might find this, women don't like the joy ride our hormones take us on once a month and we don't understand it that much either! We don't have any idea why we burst into tears when you said, “You look nice” or called you an a-hole when you brought us breakfast in bed (egg whites? are you trying to tell me something? I'm fat, right?), but what we do know is that it doesn't last forever. Pro tip: If a woman is PMS-EY (medical term) more often than she's not, it's not hormones. If it is just a once a month thing, be grateful! You dodged a bullet, bro! Now give us a snickers and a hug.

2. Watch The Bachelorette.

I wonder how many men in America are being forced to spend two hours every Monday night watching Emily say, “I'm so excited” and make-out with guy after guy. My boyfriend watches it every week, meaning that he sits next to me reading Lakers news, occasionally making fun of the guys on the show. ”Jef...with one 'F'?” He also asks such riveting questions as, “Do any of these people actually get married and stay together?” or “You do know this is totally scripted, right?” First of all, YES! Trista and Ryan got married on T.V...umm...oh and Jason and Molly. So that's something. As for it being scripted and fake, of course it is. Women know that. We just don't care. Here's the secret--we aren't watching it because we think it's real. Quite the opposite--it's such a departure from real life that we enjoy zoning out in front of the TV, watching a pretty lil’ thing with a great wardrobe stylist fall in “love” in exotic locations, laughing at the cat fights and taking bets on who won't get a rose. We do this all the while knowing that real, true love is messy-true love takes more than a few fantasy dates to develop, and we feel pretty grateful that the guy on the couch next to us doesn't have 19 other girlfriends.

3. Waste time on Pinterest

When a guy asks you what you're doing and you're all, “I'm PINNING!” Don't be surprised when he stares at you blankly. It's safe to say that Pinterest was developed for the ladies. We love stuff. Wanting stuff. Being inspired by stuff. Planning for stuff. Pretending we're going to bake stuff, which is usually some random combination of bacon, blueberries and bourbon. And Pinterest is place to organize all of this stuff...into boards of more stuff! In other words, it's a time waster of epic proportions that sometimes gives us ideas on what to wear, what to cook and what to stuff next into a mason jar. With an arsenal of Pinterest boards at our disposal, we feel equipped to tackle any crucial challenge life might throw our way, like perfecting the fishtail braid or painting plaid onto our nails.

4. Say they have nothing to wear while standing in front of a closet full of clothes.

First of all, most of the time women don't mean this literally. Pointing out that there are tons of clothes hanging right in front of her is only going to get you yelled at. It doesn't matter if her walk in closet is bigger than a department store, when she feels like she has nothing to wear, is trying on every outfit she owns and is near tears, what she's really saying is, “I feel ugly in everything today.” Maybe it's PMS (see #1), or maybe it's just an off day. Instead of retreating to your man cave, help the girl out. If possible, find her yoga pants immediately! Or if she has to leave the house, scavenge for her softest, stretchiest, oldest pair of jeans and a black v-neck tee. Even dressier? The black dress that hugs her in all the right places. Then look her in the eyes and tell her she looks beautiful.

Tell us: what are some things men do that you'll never understand?

Elizabeth Marie is the social media manager for We Love Dates, a worldwide online dating site and maintains their popular We Love Dates blog. Keep in touch on Facebook or Twitter!

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From Mauritius with love,

Zee

A Hero's Hop: What's the recipe for the perfect hero? #HeroHop

Hey beautiful people!

It's my second blog hop, and the first of Carrie Ann's in which I am taking part. Totally stoked and absolutely excited to be joining the 128 other authors who signed up for this hop... and also to meet all the readers and visitors who will be doing the rounds. Welcome to my place, peeps!

So, what's the hope about? Heroes. As simple as that. *are you sure?* Nope, not that simple, as you'll see when you browse all the posts that will be going up. Come read what everyone of us authors conjures up in her mind when we heard the magic word "hero".

129 authors = 129 chances to win the Grand Prizes!

1st Grand Prize: A Kindle Fire or Nook Tablet

2nd Grand Prize: A $50 Amazon or B&N Gift Card

3rd Grand Prize: A magnificent swag pack you can check on the official hop page

AND there will be giveaways at every stop on the tour! So that means, 129 chances for you to win more goodies!

Want to enter to win in my giveaway? Then, let's get rolling with the post!

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Immediately when I think "hero", I imagine coming up with the perfect hero for each book. But is there a recipe for that?

Got me thinking – how do I go about creating the perfect hero in each of my books?

First of all – the hero 'works off' the heroine, and vice versa. I'm not a hard-core feminist; when I say "a woman doesn't need a man to be happy", I mean it. But I also say that, "a woman doesn't miss a man until he walks into her life", and that's when things change...

So based on these notions, I set out to imagine the perfect hero. And like a good dish (forgive me here – I am so not a cook and as far from domestic goddess Nigella Lawson as you can get!), you need some set ingredients:

Sugar
Spice
And all things nice!

Simple, innit? Not so much. Let's elaborate.

Sugar – we all agree; the hero is the foil of the heroine. He is her "good times", her "rock", her "anchor", the one she runs to. Faced with a box of Godiva chocolates and a plate of lime slices, which one would you choose? The Godiva, of course! And that's sugar...

But too much sugar gives you a high and then makes you crash; it's also bad for your teeth! In the same way, a hero who's too nice/good/sweet/awesome is bad for you. Yes, we women are masochists, and we love nothing more than a roller coaster ride of emotion... which you won't get with someone, well, too nice...

So what you do then, is spice things up a bit!

Anyone know what a jaffa cake is? If not, I'll wait until you Google it! A jaffa cake is a slice of heaven brought to earth for us common mortals, to allow us to know what decadence and indulgence are all about. Imagine a crackly shell of smooth, dark chocolate; slightly bitter, hard under your teeth, a hint of sugar that nevertheless gives you a total rush... Then you get to a fine layer of orange-flavoured jelly; tangy, and this jolts your taste buds, makes you sit up and notice; another little rush of sugar, a brush of coolness on your tongue... And finally, you sink your teeth into the softest, moistest, crumbliest sponge cake layer ever; feeling it melt in your mouth, that elusive hint of cake, and another layer of vanilla-like sweetness...

To think that so far you've just taken a bite! Now, go on, and actually eat the jaffa cake... An explosion of tastes, of sweetness, of tart orange tang, of rich chocolatey smoothness...

What's a jaffa cake, you may ask? It's sugar, and spice, and all things nice... exactly what your hero should be! Layers, contrasts, that merge to form a whole that is decadent and indulgent, and oh so good for you!

That's a hero, people! There's a subtle hint in this makeup, like a jaffa cake's, that stops the whole deal from giving you sugar and sweetness on all levels. There's a dose of spice, of tang, of a contrasting taste, that ramps up the sugar rush and gives you an experiment from a different dimension. Your hero is human; give him some flaws, some 'humanness", that all men have (dirty towels on the bathroom floor, anyone? *grin*)

And as for the "all things nice", what would they be?

Well, as I like to say, your hero can be anything in any time – a rogue, a cad, a doctor next door, a quiet best friend, a dangerous cop, a con man, a geek, a nerd, a secret agent, a starship captain – but one thing he always, always, is: Noble!

What's noble to you? And what's noble in your heroine's eyes?

Another thing in this "all things nice" category – good manners! Let me list a few here, grabbed from Gentleman Etiquette posts on Esquire.com, to give you an idea:

- a gentleman always stands up when a woman is coming to the table or leaving it.
- a gentleman always pays for a date.
- a gentleman sits on the men bench when he takes his lady shopping, and uses the time to reply emails on his Blackberry, but never to talk on the phone in public places.
- a gentleman takes his mother out for dinner a few times a year.

So there you have my recipe for the perfect hero! I'm curious to know what ingredients go into making yours! Why don't you leave me a comment and tell me about it?

And let me introduce you to my heroes:

Gerard Besson: Former undercover cop, recently promoted to the status of police commissaire in the French city of Marseille. Behind the appearance of the efficient cop, hides a beaten soul... because he lost the one woman who managed to worm her way into his cold heart. 7 months later, when a suspicious woman starts to trail him, Gerard is intrigued, because she reminds him of that woman who died... Who is she? And what does she want with him?
Get the book, currently FREE:  https://www.nobleromance.com/Books/304/Walking-the-Edge

Ash Gilfoy: Ministry of Defence cop turned paramedic, Ash hides a deep, dark secret - he killed a man. Investigation cleared him as he acted in self-defense, but Ash knows he's always wanted to murder the abusive man who ended up killing his wife when she tried to leave him, at Ash's behest. The prospect of hope, and a new beginning, of salvation, appears when Rayne Cheltham, his childhood best friend, walks into his life again. A humanitarian worker who's been away for 17 years, Rayne is everything good and bright in this world... Or is she? Because she seems to be hiding secrets, too, and they just might be deeper and darker than Ash could ever imagine...
Buy Link: https://www.nobleromance.com/Books/420/Before-the-Morning

Jamie Gillespie: A 29 years old trauma doctor, Jamie turns his back on the life his money-hungry father wants him to pursue when he comes to Surrey to fill in for his sick uncle. But just as he is settling, his uncle calls, to say he will not be coming back to his rural practice - it's Jamie's decision now to stay and embrace the life of a country doctor, or go a more lucrative private practice in the heart of London. But then the decision to stay becomes clear when forensic pathologist Margo Nolan and her headstrong tween daughter, Emma, settle into the other half of Jamie's house. Older than Jamie, cold and uptight, Margo is an Ice Queen. Or is she...? Jamie sees the woman in her, the struggling mother, the lonely heart. Can he convince Margo they could have a future together, and form a family?
Buy Link: https://www.nobleromance.com/Books/369/Calling-Home

Lars Rutherford: Half-British, half-Swedish expatriate living on the island of Mauritius as the regional director for his best friend's shipping company. Lars is not looking for love, and certainly not in this land that seems stuck in Austen times where marriage and trysts are concerned. His best friend, Magnus, convinces him he's in "dire need of a shag" and contacts Madame Eve's 1NightStand agency to arrange a date for Lars. Who will he find on that blind date? What woman will agree to spend that one night with him, no strings attached? Could everything be so simple? Lars does indeed find out that nothing is so simple, because Simmi, his date, awakens protective, lustful, and dare he admit it - loving! - instincts in him. Has he found his woman, here, on this island labelled as paradise on earth?
Buy Link: http://www.decadentpublishing.com/product_info.php?products_id=553&osCsid=joff4lkh610umgtpmk3mg4qvr4


MY GIVEAWAY: Leave me a comment, along with your email address, about what "ingredients" go into making your perfect hero, and let me know which one of my heroes wins your attention - you could win an ecopy of his book (in case I didn't spell that right *sorry, hormone-brain* I'm offering a random commentor a copy of the book of her choice from my releases, based on which hero is her favourite).

Thank you for hopping over here today, and don't forget to check the other 128 participants! Here's the link to view the whole list http://carrieannbloghops.blogspot.com/p/a-heros-hop.html

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Link Thursday: 7 Ways To Tell If He's A Good Match Or Not

Hey beautiful people!

I'm having a crazy somewhat-delusional week (yes, somebody please fling the dreaded H word. You know, it goes like h-o-r-m-o-n-blahblahblah) and I badly need a laugh, or at least, a chuckle. Figured you too could use one, so here we go for this week's linked post.

I suppose we all already know the following info, but it never hurts to stress the point. :) And yes, there's a chuckle or two in there. I'll settle for that right now.

Don't forget - authors: do not template your hero off this Bad Match list. Real gals: these are the signs you need to look out for where Mr. Possibly Right is concerned.

The article can be viewed in its original form online here.

Enjoy!

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7 Ways to Tell If He's a Good Match - Or Not

 

How can you tell whether he's a good match for you? We've got seven ways to help you figure it out. Get those smartphones ready!

Updated on July 16, 2012, 9:11 am ET

By The Betty Editors

Dating in the digital age sure can get complicated, can’t it? People used to complain about having to wait by the phone -- at least they didn’t have to try to decipher text-message, glean the hidden meaning behind Facebook updates, and get rejected before even meeting each other in person!

What’s a gal to do? Have no fear: We can help! We’ve put together a handy-dandy guide of seven tech-savvy ways you can your technology to tell if you’re latest guy is a good match—or if you should give him a good, old-fashioned kick to the curb.

1. Good match: He looks like his online dating profile photo! Bad match: His photo looks like Brad Pitt; he looks like Mr. Bean.

2. Good match: On a date, he only texts to let you know he’s on his way. Bad match: He texts other people all the way through your date.

3. Good match: He uses his smartphone to actually call you. Bad match: He never turns off the ringer, and answers his smartphone constantly ... no matter WHAT you're doing!

4. Good match: His phone has apps for great date suggestions like Picksies and he asks you your opinion. Bad match: He has the Fake Girlfriend app.

5. Good match: He uses Facebook to show off adorable pics of the two of you. Bad match: He uses Facebook to keep track of his exes, upload embarrassing photos of you, and/or get tagged in pics with other girls.

6. Good match: He's interested in your Pinterest boards (even the ones about cupcakes and overly intricate nail art). Bad match: He's competitive about your Pinterest boards and is trying out "pin" you.

7. Good match: If he's out and spots something cute, he sends you a photo of the puppy or kitten or funny sign he sees. Bad match: He accidentally includes you on a mass text forward of Octomom's latest pin-up photo.

Happy dating!

XO

***

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Link Thursday: Real Friends v/s Fake Friends - How to tell the difference

Hey beautiful people!

Surfacing from my WIP (I'm on the final chapter, peeps! Final. Chapter!). It's been a heck of a ride these past few weeks to get this story in shape and actually written. Something I wouldn't have been able to do without the support, cheering, urging, prompting, and encouragement from those absolutely fantastic writing friends of mine!

I've been blessed with the friendships that fill my life. Most of these women (and a few men!), I've never met in person. But across the Net, we've reached out to one another to weave strong, resilient ties that withstand a lot of stress and long-distance and time-difference pressure.

I've known a few 'fakies' too, but thank goodness, I know I can count on everyone in my life today, and none of them will let me down. I hope they know/feel they can count on me just as much.

So, are your friends fabulous, or fakies? I was reading this article just this morning, and thought ye all would probably love this. And don't forget your heroine's BFF in the story, or the hero's bromance with his best buddy - these are all great pointers to sketch those characters. :)

I got the article from Betty Confidential, at this link.

Enjoy!

*****

Real Friends vs. Fake Friends: 20 Ways to Tell the Difference

How do you tell a real friend from a fake friend? Let us count the ways!

Updated on June 12, 2012, 10:34 am ET

By The Betty Editors

If there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that friends are awesome. During the good times and the bad, through thick and through thin, your best pals are there for you—and you’re there for them. But sometimes, friends may turn out to be “friends.” You know: Those poisonous relationships that look great on the surface, but leave you feeling all icky underneath. So how do you tell these fake friends from your real friends? We’ve put together a handy guide to help you figure it out. If you’ve got anyone that fits one or more of these profiles, get rid of them, stat! The last thing you need in your life is the sort of negativity that arises from that sort of relationship. Embrace the positive—your real friends will help you do it!

1. A fake friend will expect you to drop everything for her if disaster strikes, but will brush you off if the same thing happens to you. A real friend is there for you just as much as you’re there for her.

2. A real friend makes time for you because she genuinely adores hanging out with you. A fake friend will only make plans with you if her other, “better” plans fall through. (PS: You’re totally better than her other plans!)

3. A real friend will help you look your hottest for a big night out. A fake friend will help you look hot—as long as she thinks she looks hotter.

4. If a fake friend asks you to help her move, she makes you do all the heavy lifting and then refuses to lift a finger when you ask her for the same favor in return. A real friend not only helps you move unasked, but also helps you pick out the best color paint for your walls—and has a painting party with you to get the work done!

5. If you say you need some space, a real friend will give it to you. A fake friend will either crowd your or start bad-mouthing you behind your back—or both.

6. If you've got a celeb crush, a real friend will help you meet him or her (even if it's Zac Efron and he looks like this). A fake friend will make fun of you.

7. A real friend will be there for the important moments in your life. A fake friend will try to make those moments all about her.

8. A real friend will encourage you in your dreams, no matter how crazy they sound. A fake friend will tell you, “That sounds great! But ...." and subtly sow seeds of doubt.

9. When you've broken up with a guy, a real friend will volunteer immediately to come over with ice cream, Kleenex and booze. A fake friend will suggest you calm down.

10. A real friend will lend you her expensive bag when you've got a big event coming up unasked. A fake friend will tell you where you can buy one like it.
11. A real friend will sit in the dressing while you try on a thousand pairs of jeans and encourage you until you find the right pair. A fake friend will tell you to shop online.

12. A real friend will not only sit with you through the thousandth time you've watched Dirty Dancing, she'll say the lines along with you. A fake friend will suggest a DIFFERENT MOVIE!

13. If you're going on a blind date and you're nervous, a real friend will be at the bar ahead of time to make sure you're okay. A fake friend will tell you to call and let her know how it went.

14. A real friend will totally not think it's crazy that you want to drive by his house just to see if he's home. A fake friend will call you a stalker.

15. A fake friend loves to hear all about your failures and disappointments. A real friend gives you a shoulder to cry on, but then reminds you about all the great things you've done -- and will go on to do.
16. A real friend will volunteer to come over and take care of your kitty while you're on vacation. A fake friend will suggest a cat-sitter.

17. A real friend can laugh now about the fights you've had in the past. A fake friend harbors resentment -- you know what we're talking about.

18. A real friend sends you links to articles she knows you'll love, or that reminds her or fun time you've had together. A fake friend only forwards you those passive-aggressive chain-letter emails!

19. A real friend would rather stab her eyes out than flirt with your boyfriend. A fake friend will laugh, "It's all in good fun!"

20. A fake friend is someone in your heart you know you wouldn't miss if you never saw her again. A real friend? She's the one you hope will grow old with you so you can be crazy little old ladies playing gin rummy and drinking martinis together!

*****

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Link Thursday: Indulging Guilty Pleasure Is Good For You (in small doses)

Hey beautiful people!

I've been MIA on this slot for a while now - apologies for the absence. After the whirlwind of 2 releases in a single month and the accompanying promo madness, I'm settling into a semblance of normalcy here, thus hopping back for the regular Link Thursday post.

And, browsing my file a little while ago, I came upon this one. Who doesn't have a guilty pleasure? And who doesn't enjoy indulging it time and again?

Turns out - indulging in your guilty pleasure is good for you... in moderation, though! :)

I thought we could all use this little boost today.

The article is originally from iVillage.com and is written by Jill Provost. You can find the original slideshow here.

Enjoy!

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Indulging in Guilty Pleasures Is Actually Good for You (in Small Doses)

Shopping, chocolate, sunshine and even gossiping can be healthy (in moderation). Find out when to indulge and when you’re overdoing it

Jill Provost


Shopping

Why it’s OK: Retail therapy can be as good as sex. Researchers at the University of Westminster in London found that, in women, shopping activates the same areas of the brain that get turned on during a romp in the sack. Shopping allows us to interact with the world and explore our interests, says April Lane Benson, Ph.D., author of To Buy or Not to Buy: Why We Overshop and How to Stop. Buying things we like reflects the traits we appreciate in ourselves.

When to indulge: “Shopping should be done in a mindful way, and not as a way to anesthetize yourself,” says Benson. Ask yourself whether you can afford the time, energy, money and emotional distraction. “Shopping should never be used to fill a hole in the soul. It won't work and will move you farther away from figuring out what it is you really need and how to get that.”

Don’t overdo it: Though bargain shopping can give you a thrill, racking up credit card debt is not a good strategy for long-term happiness. Between 2 and 8 percent of Americans have an obsession with shopping for unneeded items and the inability to resist purchasing them. “It’s important to remember that you can never get enough of what you don’t really need,” she says.


Chocolate

Why it’s OK: Sweet on chocolate? Don’t feel guilty. Heart-healthy chemicals in cocoa called flavonoids decrease inflammation and help keep blood vessels pliable, preventing the arteries from hardening, says Monica Bearden, R.D., co-author of Chocolate -- A Healthy Passion. Dark chocolate also helps lower blood pressure, reduces the risk of stroke, raises “good” HDL cholesterol and boosts blood flow to the brain.

When to indulge: Unfortunately for chocoholics, you don’t need a box of truffles to reap the benefits of chocolate. In fact, you can get all its perks just by indulging in fat-free cocoa powder. But where’s the fun there? To keep your heart healthy and your waistline slim, nibble on no more than 10 grams of chocolate a day, says Bearden. To get an idea of what that looks like, two Hershey kisses is about 9 grams. To max out on the benefits, choose dark chocolate that has at least 50 percent cocoa, says Bearden.

Don’t overdo it: Even though flavonoids are good for your ticker, chocolate is loaded with calories, sugar and fat -- it’s not exactly a health food


Sunbathing

Why it’s OK: It’s no wonder a good mood is referred to as a “sunny” disposition. Basking in the sun’s ultraviolet rays stimulates the production of endorphins -- those feel-good chemicals linked to exercise. And when exposed to the sun’s UV-B rays, your skin manufactures vitamin D, the so-called sunshine vitamin that helps keep bones healthy, and may protect against autoimmune diseases and some cancers.

When to indulge: For vitamin D, spend time in the sun sans sunscreen (which blocks D production) during the middle of the day, when UV-B rays can penetrate the atmosphere, says Michael F. Holick, Ph.D., M.D., professor at Boston University School of Medicine and author of The Vitamin D Solution. If you have fair skin, you can get the vitamin D you need (1500-2000 IUs for most adults) by exposing your arms and legs between 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. in the spring, summer, and fall for 10-15 minutes, three or four times per week. If you have dark skin, you’ll need 5 to 10 times as much exposure, says Holick.

Don’t overdo it: Too much sun is responsible for 90 percent of wrinkles, age spots and other age-related skin changes. UV exposure resulting in sunburns is to blame for 65 percent of all melanoma cases (the most deadly form of skin cancer; however, occupational sun exposure has been demonstrated to decrease the risk of melanoma), and 90 percent of other skin cancers. When spending more than 10-15 minutes outside -- especially at the beach or park -- wear sunscreen from head to toe and reapply every two hours.


Giving into Food Cravings

Why it’s OK: A study in the International Journal of Obesity found that people who allowed themselves to indulge once in a while lost more weight than those who tried to suppress their cravings. The reason: Putting your favorite foods on the do-not-eat list only makes you want them more, until finally you cave in the form of a big-time binge.

When to indulge: Don’t reach for forbidden foods when you’re starving, says Susan Roberts, Ph.D., professor of nutrition and psychiatry at Tufts University in Boston. It can lead to overeating. Instead, schedule your splurges at mealtime, after your main course. You’ll get a taste of the flavor you crave, but you’ll be too full to overindulge, she explains. Keep it light by sticking to a 100-calorie portion (or less).

Don’t overdo it: Giving into every food whim leads to an ineffective (read: nonexistent) diet. Plus, constant nibbling on a French fry here and a doughnut there keeps your taste buds hankering for rich, sugary flavors. After all, it’s hard to think of strawberries as sweet if you’re used to buttercream frosting.


Gossiping

Why it’s OK: Gossiping is a form of social glue -- it solidifies friendships and brings people closer together. Even two strangers can forge a bond by talking about others. “It’s an expression of mutual trust,” explains media expert Richard Weiner, author of an upcoming book on gossip. “The gossiper feels like a big shot to be in the know and the recipient feels grateful to be in the loop.” Plus, the threat of being gossiped about can keep others in line. Knowing that you could be badmouthed makes you less likely to act like a self-centered jerk, according to research in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science.

When to indulge: Weiner advises people to consider their intentions whenever discussing others. If it doesn’t benefit anyone and may in fact cause harm, it’s best to keep judgmental words to yourself. However, Weiner believes that most gossip about people we know, rather than celebrities, can be useful. There’s gossip (“Did hear? Deb is having a baby!”), and then there’s gossip (“I heard Jane cheated on her husband and got herpes!”). Stick to the first kind and people may see you as a dependable source for news in your social circle.

Don’t overdo it: Research shows that when we slander someone, our audience unconsciously assigns the negative traits to us that we pin on others. For instance, if you call Janie an idiot, the person you’re talking to now unwittingly associates that quality with you. Luckily, the phenomenon, known as spontaneous trait transference, works both ways, so if you say good things about others, those positive qualities will also get assigned back to you.


Playing Hooky

Why it’s OK: Feel like you need a mental health day? You’re not alone. According to a 2004 poll by the American Psychological Association, two-thirds of men and women say work has a significant impact on their stress level. Time away from work helps reduce stress, restores efficiency and even boosts creativity. As a result, one in four of us has taken a “mental health day.”

When to indulge: Provided you don’t get caught, an unscheduled day off now and then isn’t going to kill your career. However, constantly pushing yourself to the point of exhaustion could, says executive coach M.J. Ryan, author of AdaptAbility. “If you always have this feeling of misery or dread, it tells you something’s not working. Vow to do things differently in your daily life,” says Ryan. Instead of calling in sick, schedule regular days of downtime to avert mental meltdown. Plan activities you really enjoy to help you take your mind off your job. And do not check email while on vacation!

Don’t overdo it: Playing hooky is a legitimate reason to fire an employee. Plus, calling in sick won’t necessarily give you the respite you need to recuperate. The fear of getting caught can make people sit at home and worry about work. Plus, research in the Journal of Applied Psychology shows fretting is the number-one way to ruin the mental health benefits of a vacation.

Facebook

Why it’s OK: All those tweets and status updates may be more valuable than you think. A recent study from Kent State University found that having lots of Facebook friends was linked to greater happiness. Other research shows online networking helps people build valuable connections in real life.

When to indulge: Instead of checking in every two minutes, set aside a few minutes of dedicated Facebook time a few times a day. By confining it to a set time, you can diminish that compulsive urge to peek in on your friends every second.

Don’t overdo it: Anyone who has unwittingly lost hours of their life to Facebook knows that social media sites can be a huge time suck. “It’s very attractive to find a place where there’s always someone to talk to,” says Larry Rosen, Ph.D., author of Rewired. According to Rosen, we can become so obsessed with checking in to see if people have commented on our status, that it occupies entire areas of the brain even when we’re not logged on.

Red Meat

Why it’s OK: Lean red meat is a protein powerhouse, as well as one of the best sources of hard-to-get nutrients like iron, zinc and vitamin B12.

When to indulge: According to a 2010 study in the journal Meat Science, moderate consumption of lean red meat as part of a balanced diet is unlikely to increase the risk for heart disease and colon cancer. How is that possible? Studies don’t always differentiate between the types of red meat being researched. David Katz, M.D., director of the Yale University Prevention Research Center, recommends choosing your red meat wisely. Steer clear of processed meat and fatty cuts. Instead, opt for grass-fed lean beef, bison or game meat like venison, which has more heart-healthy omega-3 fats and less saturated fat. Keep your meat eating to no more than two servings a week.

Don’t overdo it: High in saturated fat, red meat has been linked to everything from heart disease and diabetes to colon cancer and premature death.


Daydreaming

Why it’s OK: Daydreaming is an important mental state where we unconsciously turn our attention away from immediate tasks to sort through important problems in our lives, according to a study in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, Not only does it help us work through issues, it encourages creative thinking.

When to indulge: Since daydreaming can sap attention from what we’re doing, researchers recommend letting your mind wander daily during simple, solitary activities that don’t require much brainpower. Some of your best ideas may come to you if you let your imagination take hold while showering, going for a walk or cleaning the house.

Don’t overdo it: Researchers at Harvard found that people are generally less content when they allow their mind to wander, instead of being in the present, because we tend to ruminate about negative, rather than positive, things. If you feel stressed, says Harvard mindfulness expert Ellen Langer, Ph.D., “It’s usually because you’re anticipating a negative event that may not happen. If it does, it might turn out not to be so negative after all. It may be wise to practice, ‘no worry before it’s time’ and enjoy being in the present.” When daydreaming leads you to focus on something that causes anxiety, that’s a sign that you need to get out of your head and back to the present.


Watching TV

Why it’s OK: There’s a reason we tune into our favorite shows every week: We’re emotionally invested in our beloved characters because they keep us company and bring us comfort, according to research in the journal Mass Communication and Society. Sitcoms and movies that make us laugh can also boost feel-good endorphins and reduce stress.

When to indulge: Keep your screen time to under two hours a day. You can even downgrade your couch-potato status by using the exercise bike or treadmill while watching your favorite shows. Not the treadmill type? Just get up and walk around during commercials. And keep those hands out of the potato chips!

Don’t overdo it: Women who watch three to four hours of TV daily are twice as likely to be obese as those who tune in for under one. So, unless you watch TV standing up, being glued to the tube could lead to an early demise. A study in the British Journal of Sports Medicine found that logging six hours a day in front of your screen could subtract five years from your life.


Procrastinating

Why it’s OK: It might not be particularly helpful, but procrastination may be an unavoidable part of being human. Research shows that even primates procrastinate when working toward a far-off goal.

When to indulge: Putting things off gives us momentary reprieve and gives us an excuse to engage in pleasurable activities. But you still have to get things done. If you really do work well under pressure -- more efficient and focused and less mistake-prone -- then you can probably start the project a little closer to deadline than others.

Don’t overdo it: The telltale signs that you procrastinate too much: You’re always handing things in late or they’re often riddled with mistakes. You could see physical signs, too: Researchers at Case Western Reserve University found that people who dawdle encounter more physical and emotional difficulties, like stress, headaches and stomach pains.


Flirting When You’re in a Relationship

Why it’s OK: “Harmlessly flirting with others helps you to feel attractive and desirable, which helps to charge the energies you bring to your relationship and to the bedroom,” explains Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D., sexologist and author of Sultry Sex Talk to Seduce Any Lover.

When to indulge: It really comes down to each individual couple, says Fulbright. “There's no harm in window shopping as long as your partner understands that that's all it is. Couples need to discuss what is and isn't acceptable, and where to draw the line.”

Don’t overdo it: Flirting when you’re unavailable can lead others on and hurt the one you’re with, says Fulbright. “If you need to flirt to get your ‘high’ for the day, or if you find yourself needing more and more attention from the same person, then that should be evaluated as far as what's really making you happy (or unhappy) in your relationship.”
*****

From Mauritius with love,

Zee

Link Thursday: 1,000 Things You Didn't Know About Women (Part 5)

Hey peeps!

Time once again for the 'list'. Catch some more insight into the minds and thoughts of regular women out there.

Catch up with the initial posts in this series from here ... and if you want to read the full list in one go, head to the original post found on Esquire.com

So here we roll...

Enjoy!


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1,000 Things You Don't Know About Women

We asked the women in our lives to share their secrets about sex, relationships, and what we've been doing wrong (and right) all these years. Four months after our special issue devoted to women — and with continuing help from you on Twitter — we've reached a thousand pieces of wisdom. Hope they help.

No. 531: We love to cry, and we always feel better after a big sob fest. How much better? Pull down your pants. — Denise Marquez, 40, Rochester, N.Y.

No. 236: If something in your past will show up on a Google search, be prepared to explain it. — Julia Phillips, 39, Longmont, Colo.

No. 1000: We love you guys. — Stephanie Shaughnessy, 41, Pittsburgh

No. 193: Because we love security and fidelity, we also love love handles. Your six-pack anxiety only threatens us with the possibility you might care more about your abs than you care about us. —Alexis Justman, 23, El Centro, California

No. 658: Don't tease us. We're not your little sister. —Katie Holleran, 23, Winchester, Massachusetts

No. 863: If we don't spend the night, don't give up on calling us back. We were probably just wearing Spanx. —Alexis Justman, 23, El Centro, California

No. 386: When we are truly angry, we go silent. That is your opportunity to apologize, or run. Neither will save you. —Lisa Huber, 38, Teutopolis, Illinois

No. 274: Some of us keep imaginary tallies in our head. "He keeps Diet Coke at his apartment because he knows I love it: 5 points. He's liberal: 10 points. He brought me soup when I was sick: 15 points. He made banana pancakes: infinity points." Your kindness is noted, appreciated and will be rewarded. —Rhiannon Falzone, 26, Chicago

No. 417: If it ever comes down to picking between spending time with your girl and playing World of Warcraft you have bigger issues than not understanding women. —Brittany Brundage, 21, Orem, Utah

No. 358: Loading the dishes without being asked — it means more than you know. —Alexandria Pruitt, 24, Louisville

No. 789: Practice proper text message grammar. Abbreviations are okay. "LOL" is not. —Alexis Justman, 23, El Centro, California

No. 467: We like it when you have a lot of male friends. It means you can maintain a good relationship, like the one you have with us. —Alexandria Pruitt, 24, Louisville

No. 439: We gauge how good a father you'll be by how you treat your family. —Alexandria Pruitt, 24, Louisville

No. 562: We know our orgasms can be difficult. Just keep at it. —Alexandria Pruitt, 24, Louisville

No. 574: Most successful men have a strong woman by his side. That would be us. —Amanda Allen, 24, Salt Lake City

No. 725: You have the power to make us feel like the only girl in the room. Use it wisely (and often). —Katie Holleran, 23, Winchester, Massachusetts

No. 343: Those times you remember the small details of our stories — like a random friend's name — is when we can tell you care. —Alexandria Pruitt, 24, Louisville

No. 651: Never underestimate the power of a kiss on the forehead. —Katie Holleran, 23, Winchester, Massachusetts

No. 317: When you challenge your lady to a game and lose, lose with a smile. Not with a broken tennis racket... for instance. —Michelle Schindler, 25, New York

No. 697: Sometimes we think we're in love, and then we see your Facebook profile. —Alexis Justman, 23, El Centro, California

No. 259: Honestly, we don't mind watching hours of Grand Theft Auto if we feel included. —Katie Holleran, 23, Winchester, Massachusetts

No. 330: Take us to Florence. But not in the summer. Too many tourists. —Rhiannon Falzone, 26, Chicago

No. 105: A five-star restaurant is rarely better than eating cold pizza on the couch with you. —Katie Holleran, 23, Winchester, Massachusetts

No. 158: We like it when you stand in the dressing room with us. And give compliments. —Molly Rosen, 33, Chicago

No. 127: "I love you." It's better when it's rare, spontaneous, and really meaningful. —Katie Holleran, 23, Winchester, Massachusetts

No. 245: Women in their twenties may look good while doing it, but most of them are thinking about how they look while they're doing it. Which means they aren't thinking about what they are doing. After their twenties, we have learned that feeling good is better than looking good. We also know that right after we use our good stuff with you, we're going to get the cuddling all those twentysomethings are bitching about. —Lisa Huber, 38, Teutopolis, Illinois

No. 993: Red, black, silky, leather, animal print — if any of these are adjectives that can be applied to your bedroom decor, we may still sleep over, but don't count on a call back. —Alexis Justman, 23, El Centro, California

No. 740: Buying us a candy bar is a surprising — and effective — gesture. Who doesn't like a candy bar? —Katie Holleran, 23, Winchester, Massachusetts

No. 289: A woman has certain spots that are for touching, squeezing, and pushing. These do not include her buttons. —Michelle Schindler, 25, New York

No. 378: Girls like to whine. It's a fact. —Brittany Brundage, 21, Orem, Utah

No. 431: There is nothing sexier than following through. If you say you're going to do something, please do it. —Brittany Brundage, 21, Orem, Utah

No. 598: When we say we want to share a dessert, we really mean we want you to have just one bite and offer the rest to us. We were planning on eating the entire lava cake ourselves anyway, but this way we don't feel guilty. —Aimee Couture, 22, New York

No. 675: Keep in mind that we'll read any e-mail you might leave open on the computer. It's our nature. (And yours too, by the way.) —Leticia Frazao, 25, New York

No. 689: Please be the man we know and love, even when we're at a barbeque reunion with your frat brothers. —Aimee Couture, 22, New York

No. 399: Nothing is quite as comforting as a big, man hug. Safe, warm, firm, but yielding. —Danielle Maupai, 28, Green Pond, New Jersey

No. 849: If you want to impress a girl, tell her you've heard of Say Yes to the Dress and leave it at that. Your feelings about the show are not important. —Jessica Brunelle, 22, Boston

No. 833: There are two acceptable forms of hair product for you: undetectable and nonexistent. —Alexis Justman, 23, El Centro, California

No. 710: We would rather take a hot-air balloon ride than grab drinks. If you don't have a hot-air balloon, just be creative. —Aimee Couture, 22, New York

No. 590: Even if we assure you we don't believe in Valentine's Day, buy the damn flowers. It couldn't be easier. —Alexis Justman, 23, El Centro, California

No. 597: We won't judge you for that occasional girly drink. Just be sure to give us a sip. —Aimee Couture, 22, New York

No. 858: Life gets so busy, sometimes it's nice to have someone to make choices for you. Even if it is just the Friday night movie. —Dani Ruiz, 22, Encinitas, California

No. 514: We do enjoy the gift of expensive jewelry. We just like to pick it out. —Danica Peterson, 22, Providence

No. 182: It's better when you make the effort to do simple things often than trying to make up for making no effort by doing something big and over-the-top. —Chantal Marchessault, 22, Gulfport, Florida

No. 307: Don't go to strip clubs. Just don't. —Katie Holleran, 23, Winchester, Massachusetts

No. 530: When a woman brings you to a store to show you something on more than one occasion, do you think maybe she wants you to buy it for her? Maybe? —Danica Peterson, 22, Providence

No. 490: There is no excuse for you to buy us lingerie for our birthday, anniversary, and Valentine's Day, all in the same year. —Danica Peterson, 22, Providence

No. 822: Whistling of any kind tends to make us walk faster in the opposite direction. —Jessica Brunelle, 22, Boston

No. 808: We can almost always tell how much porn you watch on a regular basis after sleeping with you the first time. Like, don't rip the panties off before getting to second base. Better to be vanilla than embarrassed. —Alexis Justman, 23, El Centro, California

No. 770: We can tell when the gift was purchased at the last minute. But we still like it. —Jessica Brunelle, 22, Boston

No. 239: Your knowing the difference between stilettos and flats is totally adorable. —Chantal Marchessault, 22, Gulfport, Florida

*****

From Mauritius with love,

Zee